bullshitting 101~#29 - CHANGING MYSELF!!!

yesterday, i had a talk with a friend..

well,finally,someone actually did make me realize that i shud change myself..

i hate this person i am now, i wanna be the person i was before i became this ugly monster..haha..

Today, i woke up feeling happy, feeling grateful to be alive...

i have a long way more to go, and im gonna make it right!!

people, you gotta love yourself!!!yes!!and i will love myself..God didnt gave me life for nothing right?..hehe...

well, remember readers, "The climb is a struggle, BUT, the view up there, is awesome!!!"

u know u love me,

x.o.x.o.

bullshitting 101~#28

Well, hello there readers..Today, i did this psychology personality test on facebook, i usually do those quiz when im bored,and just for fun..but gosh, this quiz said some true stuff about me...so,the result is below here, for u to know a lil more info about me..hehe..well,its all true except for the last 2 points ok..ehehe...

Dear Nathra Nd, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You’re usually expressive... Open about your emotions and most of the time willing to talk about it.

You love deeply... you may flirt along and people think you’re a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.

You appreciate simple things in life... You hate complicating things that’s why you’re typically up-front in any aspect.

You’re an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend... You don’t care if your partner doesn’t really love you as long as you love him/her. You give your all...

You’re intimidating! People have an impression that you’re elite—or if not, you simply look sophisticated. You gain praises but not companions.

You’re independent! You’re also risky just like the bajaken who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures!




u know u love me,
x.o.x.o.

bullshitting 101~#27

i've always been the kind of girl,

that hid my face,

so afraid to tell the world,

what i've got to say,

but i have a dream,

right inside of me,

gotta let it show,

it's time, to let you know...

yes...this is me..

im just someone,

looks more like you,

but,

my character,

geez...i think im actually an alien sent down from God..

hahaha...

sometimes, i feel like im God's joke..

it's always trouble when it comes to me..haha..

troubles and problems are the two main thing that cannot be separated with me..

it's like a curse,somehow..

yes,of course sometimes i wish life cud be pretty normal,

but then, i realize,

if there are no troubles and problems,

i wouldnt be streetsmart as i am right now...

i think i know a whole lot more ways to deal with stuff than most of normal person wud do..

hmmmm...

only, sometimes, in some things, i choose to be stupid and to be ignorant..hehehe...

well what's this post is all about?

i really dont know too...its just another of those bullshitting101..haha..

p/s: DEAR FLASH, I MISS YOUR COMMENTS...

u know u love me,

-xoxo-

-This Is Me-

Sometimes,

As I sit up on my bed,

I would cry so hard,

So hard that I couldn't feel my tears...

Sometimes,

As I think to myself,

I would get so confused,

So confused that I just can't think anymore...

Sometimes,

As I fall in love,

I would love so much,

So much that I could feel my heart cries...

Sometimes,

As I get hurt,

I would get hurt so badly,

So badly that I feel like breaking things...

Sometimes,

As I get upset,

I would feel so sad,

So sad that I wish to go as far as I could...

Sometimes,

As I face the mirror,

I would feel so regretful and pity,

So regretful and pity that I would question myself, 'Why did I turn into a bad monster?'

Sometimes, I wish there were more happiness to life,

Sometimes, I wish I could just be naked and show my trueself,

Sometimes, I wish I could turn back the time,

Sometimes, I wish to be someone else,

Sometimes, I wish that I was unborn,

Sometimes, I wish to go far away, to a place where Im a complete stranger to everyone,

Sometimes, I wish this climb of life wouldn't be so hard,

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so different than all of you,

Sometimes, I wish I would wake up one day thinking that all that has happen throughout my life was just a dream, a bad dream.

But then, sometimes,

To think about all this,

I am just, me...

We are all unique in our own ways,

Sometimes, maybe,

We should just accept it all,

Strengthen up, and suck it up like a soldier,

But then,

I am who I am,

I am, ME...

written on 5th November 2009,

at 8am

u know u love me,

xoxo

bullshitting 101~#26

well,

here we go again..

"love" topic again...

currently, i feel like me and him, is not gonna go anywhere...

currently, i feel like i cud smell breakup around the corner...

currently, i dont know if i shud carry on loving him or not...

currently, i like how we are, but, it's a lil bit too much of 'just frens'..

currently, im just going with the flow...

i trust him..

i hope it will last longer than my previous relationshipSSS...

well,

let's just sit back, relax, and see how things go...

rite?

hahahaha...

u know u love me,

xoxo

bullshitting 101~#25

well,

it's not only one person who told straight to my face...

but....here's the thing...

23years ive been living, i still dont know what love means...

7 years of my dating life, i've choose to be stupid...

23years ive been living, what i want, i have to have it...

7years of my dating life, i got almost all the men that i wanted.:)

23years ive been living, ive been growing up with the belief that 'happy family' dont exist...

7years of my dating life, i was hard like a rock, cannot be hurt..only past 2years ive became soft...

23years ive been living, it was all deep confusing sadness...

7 years of my dating life, i've always fall too fast, then hate too fast too...

blablabla,it goes on and on...

well,somehow people, have u ever known someone who knows what he/she is going into,but yet, they just chose to pretend blind...i have...i know that person too well...because,she is,me...

but then again, what if this is all fated? That karma will be catching up with me a lil too many times? That this pain i feel over and over again, is something to repay the sins ive done?

Well,i aint a perfect muslim...But at least ive quit drinking...That's a good start rite? And maybe i will have my heart closed soon?Who knows rite? And smoking will stop too maybe? Hmm...

This is just game of life, i know im making mistakes, but, somehow, if i dont go thru all this mistakes,and more yet to come, when will i learn..rite?

But thank u everyone, for ur concern...=)

I hope i didnt hurt any reader's feelings...",

u know u love me,

-xoxo-