bullshitting 101~#24..continuation of post #23..

mari kita semua jadi dewasa sekarang,

or mungkin,

aku dah buat keputusan,

i will berfikiran matang now,

i will trust him, takpe la if i get hurt, but so far, its going fine..

but i dont dare to put full hope on it..

so, lets just play along, kalau hubungan aku ngan dia lama, eloklah,

kalau xlama, xpe, teruskan usaha cari baru..hehe..

p/s: im falling for him...

to you...yes,you..you know who you are...

Maybe you were too blind to see,

What I was trying to do,

Look and open your eyes and see properly,

Ive been trying all along to patch things up with you,

I guess you was just too interested with your 'love' that you went blind..

The next day, I didnt even said hie to you, was because I was so hurt,

I got so pissed, I got so mad, therefore, I lost my mind...

Yes, so I heard, you tried to say hello to me,

What, I thought it only took 1second to say the word hello, but it took you so long to do so...

I had enough..This cold war that has been going on for too long now, has to come to an end...

Im not sure if you're reading this, but I hope you do...

I want you, to forget everything that i've done,

now think of what you have done...

I really did try, all along, eventhough i gave up at one point, but i keep telling myself, dont waste the special friendship that i had with you once before...but you didnt care much...

So, now, Im telling you, yes YOU, this war, has ended, i have other wars to handle, i will forget every special friendship moments i had with you, and please do the same too. Thank you..

p/s: Yes, I know I owe you some money, I will pay it, but please give me time till i work to pay you..your cooperation is much appreciated. Thank you.

-xoxo-

bullshitting 101~#23

menangis aku terfikirkan benda ni dan ketika menulis ni...

aku ada teman lelaki...

tp, aku rasa sedih, dengan benda2 dia bwat...sabar mmg la aku sabar...aku trime je apa je yang dia bwat..sbb aku percayakan dia..tp,at one point tu, i just dont know who to trust...i have another source saying yang dia playboy...and byk benda yang menunjukkan kata2 itu betul, tapi, aku percayakan dia kot..cuma,mmg r ada masa kengkadang aku rasa cam diperbodohkan gak..hmmm..

now,bila ada ayat dari dia yang mengatakan dia perlukan seseorang yang memahami dia, aku terasa..walaupun dia slalu kata tu hanya main2 jer....tapi,aku pun ada perasaan kot...mungkin,sbb tu la slalu org kata yang lelaki ni tidak berperasaan dan perempuan plak emotional lebih..hmmm...weh,tapi mmg sakit gile kot..selama ni,aku sabar je,sbb aku faham his wants and his needs...but tetibe kuar ayat camtu..perghh..sakit kot hati..hmm..tapi,aku xbtaw dia..mungkin salah aku la kan?

anddd,mungkin korang akan kata aku ni bodoh sbb masih bertahan pas korang baca ape aku nak tulis ni,tp,aku telah belajar yang 'i shouldnt quit something i started' ....well, ramai gile pompuan, tanye dia, dia single ke x, he always say he single...perghh..terbakar je jiwa kot...i mean, yes, aku sayang dia, dia kata dia syg..tapi,benda2 camni,membuatkan aku rasa cam, dia ni mmg playboy sejati,or dia malu nak ngaku dia ada gf or what?katanya dia xnak kecoh2...eh,aku terpk la kan aritu, kalau kita menjawab soalan org ttg status relationship kita,kononnya kita jawab 'yes i dah berpunya', itu kecoh ke namanya?pada aku,tu hanya menjawab soalan je kot...

kengkadang, aku rasa, asal aku ni bodoh sgt? bape kali lagi karma nak kenakan aku? cukup r aku kecewa dah berkali2...sakit gile kot rasa...kengkadang,pk balik,mungkin mmg single lah benda paling hebat yg pernah berlaku dlm hidup aku..hmmm...i wish he cud understand me instead of saying i dont understand him when i do...patheticnyerrr dunia percintaan aku kan?hmmm

-xoxo-

bullshitting 101~#22

aku tertanya tanya la kan,

nape ek?

nape sebenarnya kita merasakan yang hidup ni susah?

tapi,

kalau kita buka mata kita dan lihat ke sekeliling kita,

kita akan sedar,

yang sebenarnya idop ni lebey hebat dari apa yang kita lihat..

hmmm...

ni la yang aku sedar baru2 ni..

masalah semua,

hanya dicipta oleh diri kita sendiri..

hehehe...

korang pk la sendiri ek...

-xoxo-

bullshitting 101~#21

im sitting here,

and i cud see her staring straight into my eyes,

it's like she's reading what's on my mind..

her big round eyes,

stared straight into my naked eyes,

the stare was going thru my body,

and went straight for my brains,

the stare that lasted for about 10seconds..

then she turned away,

something else catched her mind away..

then she jumped down the table and left,

and yes,

that was the 10second stare from her,

my cat...

-xoxo-

bullshitting 101~#20

i dont get it,

i totally dont get it...

i dont get what i dont get..

hmmm..

do u get it?

i dont get it too...

its all about the get get this days eh?

but i really dont get what im suppose to get?

ha?

blurr...

bullshitting 101~#19

actually,

after few months of my break up with ied,

im feeling soooooooooo lucky that it ended...

to think about it now,

how stupid i was then..hahahaha...

funny funny...

bullshitting 101~#18

story 1:

A Mother came home one day after few weeks staying in her married daughter's house. And she was so happy to come home, that she asked her husband and her daughter to go for lunch with her, as she was also so hungry. But her husband and daughter was very tired, that they slept(tido mati), and she got so mad...

story2:

A father, who was so tired looking after his 98year old mother, slept in the afternoon, the day his wife came home, and ignored his wife's request to go for lunch.

story3:

Daughter, who has her own insomnia problems(well, sort of),who was having troubles sleeping at night, didn't slept that day, and she drove all the way to her sister's house in Ampang from Kajang just to pick her mother up because her mother had to go to Cheras,JUST TO SIGN A CHEQUE, and drove her mother back to their home, and had to send her mother back to Ampang again in the evening. So, she accidentally fell asleep in the afternoon at home, and she slept so soundly(tido mati) that she couldnt wake up when her mother asked her to go lunch with her.

Story4:

After few days....

Mother is angry and sulking at her husband.

Father is angry and sulking at his wife, for no reason, well apparently, he said that his wife left without telling him, but his daughter heard her mother saying that she's going to Ampang(in a super angry way).

Daughter is stuck in the middle of her father's and mother's arguements. Silly silly arguements!!

The moral of the story:

FUCKING HELL WEHH, I AM YOUR DAUGHTER, NOT YOUR PUNCHING BAG!!thanks alot for teaching me all this shit!!

*Parents of the world, if you have a small lil stupid silly problem, don't let it out on your children. Even if you have a major huge problem, don't share it with your children. You are the adults here, so go figure it yourself!*

The end

-xoxo-

Title: Persoalan III

Sepinya,

Perasaan tanpa sesiapa,

Sunyi ku didalam duniaku sendiri,

Hanya ditemani nadi pernafasanku,

Kegelapan membutai penglihatanku..

Tatkala di dalam kesunyian dan kesepian ini,

Persoalan masih menghantui pemikiranku,

Persoalan yang masih ku belum ketahui jawapannya dari dulu,

Diriku meronta-ronta,

Ku ingin dijawab,

Aku tidak mahu dihantui persoalan-persoalan ini,

Aku sudah penat berfikir..

Tapi ku pasti,

Duniaku akan kembali terang,

Seperti dulukala ketikaku masih belum kenali dunia sebenar,

Dan ku pasti,

Persoalan itu akan terjawab..

Title: Hmmmm....

Confused,

Should I give in fully,

Or should i hold back,

My feelings...

It hurts to be hurt,

It hurts to love,

The pain that spread in my vains,

Should I fall in love again?

Scared,

Scared to fully trust,

Scared to move on,

But if I don't carry on,

When will I meet 'the one'?

Hmmmm.....

7:35A.M. of 2nd OCT 2009

As I lay on my bed,

Eyes wide open,

The clock shows 7:35am now,

Haven't slept the while night,

And by now,

Flash back from the past haunts my vision,

All the sins I've done,

Towards God, towards my family and towards people that I know(friends),

It all haunts me now,

Then questions cam up next,

Will I be forgiven for all this sins?

Will I be someone better?

It all came like the pourdown of rain,

Then my eye blinked,

And it all went away....