my first endless love..

-this poem is not connected to me,or any humans or creature on earth.not even connected to the deads.it was made for fun and laughter-
-created on 11th august 2005-

its amazing the first time we met,
with just a smile we became friends,
our heart was meant to be together,
we were set to meet each other,
how you smiled to me,i could still remember,
how your friends looked at me,i couldnt even bother,
because that time,i still remember,
we were so into each other...
we were young,we were small,
so much fun we had together,
and now the time has come,
after years of growing up with fun and laughter,
we were forced to leave this nature,
our life has set our future,
we will never gonna see each other,
you went to LA,i went to UK,
we have then forgotten our times together,
years has passed,
we came back to Malaysia,
with a degree and a white lover,
so happen,we accidently bump into each other,
shocked,depressed and anger,
were all mixed up together for each other's white lover,
but we talked and got to know,that the white arent our lover,
we were meant to be together,
proposals were made,
at last,we lived happily ever after...

kenangan...

di saat tadi,
ku merenung pada kehidupan,
ku terkenang peristiwa lalu,
kenangan pahit dan manis,
kesedihan dan ke gembiraan,
semuanya terlintas di fikiran...
di saat ini,
ku kesepian,
ku tertanya-tanya,
ke mana perginya teman-temanku?
ke mana hilangnya mereka?
aku dilupakan...
di zaman sekolah,
mereka telah mencipta kenangan,
kini,mereka meninggalkan keperitan padaku,
aku berfikir sejenak,
mengapa harus aku kesepian?
mengapa harus aku menunggu mereka?
sudah menjadi adat dunia,
kawan makan kawan,
sudah menjadi adat dunia,
kawan membawa penderitaan,
sudah menjadi adat dunia,
kawan mencipta kesunyian,
jadi,apa guna aku menanti kepulangan mereka?
tetapi,kenangan kita bersama,
akan ku semadikan disini,
di dalam hatiku yang sepi ini...

this poems goes to my frenz...
-created on 11th August 2005-

-Nadia-

this special announcement i make to you my sister,
to speak the truth that lies in my cold heart,
i know you will be mad at me for this,
but i have to let u know,
that night i thought to myself,
for so many reasons i wanted to kill you,
for so many reasons i wanted you to change,
to learn to respect and have kind hearted feelings,
and to have a pinch of patiency in your heart,
but no,you never seem to understand...
you treat us(people) nice when u need help,
you treat us(people) bad when u have used us,
everynight i pray for u to change,
to stop hurting them(mom+dad),
to start changing your cold stoned heart,
but never had God listen to me,not even once,
and so today i wrote,
this 'unrythemic' poem for u,
hoping and praying for a change,but i doubt,all of this to play...

-this poem is written cuz of anger,sadness,pityness and so which is bursting in my heart,for so long i wanted to say it,i believe now the time has come..im sorrie if i hurt u..but wait,maybe im not..i cud have hurt u n do shit along time ago,but no,u were the onli sister i cud hang on to,and i didnt wanted u to hate me,but,i said sorrie every single time i hurt u,but did u ever,ever said sorrie when u hurt me?and how pain my heart was when u ungkit wat u paid for me b4 when we fight,u know how pain my heart was when u said bad things to me,and when u hurt mum n dad's feelings,they cried,THEY FUCKING CRIED,and how u cud just make a person shut,like forever n crying crazily in their heart..think again sis..owh,ya,maybe u dont want me as ur sis anymore..but remember,wat ever happens to u,who helps u?who sort things out?who cared for u?did ur frens came to help when u r in deep shit?wait,did they even give a damn?hmm...it wud take years if i wanna answer that..so,just think again and again,change..pls..just change..i thought u to be patient once,but u cant..maybe u have to do it urself..but pls do..do change fast cuz i want the sister i had before she started college....-

to whom this may concern!!

well,if u r reading this..i hope u get sick n die fast..that's my wish everynight..cuz i cant bear the pain of living in this world with such person like u in it!!you r cold stoned hearted,no respect for others,no brains,always talk big bout ur self when u r NUTTIN AT ALL...and serve u right fer everysingle shit that happened to u all your life...if u wanna hurt ur bloody fucked up self,go ahead but dont make people get hurt because of ur fucked up big headed self!!ya,i dont care who u r,what u r,how big u r,how fucked up u r,cuz whut i know is that,i dont mind seeing u die but i do mind seeing others suffer because of u!!so get that in ur head!!i hate u!!i never loved u before!!never!!not even a single mingle second of my life!!ever since i wuz born,i wuz born to hate u!!and im saying it again,I HATE U!!I WISH U WERE DEAD!!I WISH I NEVER KNEW U!!