Today, 19.01.2012.
Apuchi's 1 year death prayer. I went, at about 11ish. Saw her picture, then realized how much I misses her. And how things were different for last deepavali and the coming deepavalis. No more waking up in the morning to go to see Apuchi on each deepavali. No more visiting her. No more smelling her smell. :(
Then, while at the prayer, Mom told me Nenek is not well. She started hallucinating and stuff. Seeing the dead. She's already in between reality and the other world. Just like Apuchi before she died. So we went and visit Nenek after the prayer. She was just lying on the bed, as usual, bedridden. I felt like crying looking at her like that. If she dies too, that's it, I won't have any grandmother anymore. As it is, I have never met my grandfathers, they died before I was born. It's gonna be so weird again for each Hari Raya. But, part of me feels like it's best that she goes away. She's suffering so much, just sleeping all day, no movement. Hmm. :(
Then, on the way back, I drove, Dad sat at the passenger seat. The long traffic jam given me a chance to talk to Dad, privately. Update on the next blog.
Btw, last night, I slept, I woke up suddenly, hearing my own voice, calling my name twice 'Nathra, Nathra.' FARKING SCARY OCCAY!!! Ngee~
u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-
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