What's up with me and the word love?

Honestly, I'm starting to feel the distance.

It was sooo sweet at first, yeah, I received numeral calls a day, text messages, but now, I'm loosing him to his job.

I just wanted a guy who would appreciate me and show that he really loves me. Hmm. What's happening? Is this normal?

Shiet, I think I just don't know how to be in a relationship. I feel like asking him to define what is 'in a relationship' is all about. Hmm. I wish he did not leave. I wish he got a job here, instead of there. But, if it wasn't because of him leaving, I would not have met him.

Fuck, fuckity fuck, I'm loosing my mind. Again, can long distance relationship work? FISHES IN D SEA mannn!!! LOL~

feeling so lost, where's that happiness i felt? hmm...

maybe coz now, im starting to think, if now he's so busy, only calls me once, don't really text anymore, and this relationship has only been for a month, how bout the other months to come? can i survive it? or am i gonna feel like shiet coz i would be missing him all d time and just swallowing it in my tummy and feel sick? hmm...

but i miss him. love? im not really sure if it's 100%. trust? i think there's only like 30% trust...hey, dont blame me for not trusting him ok, men made me be this way. all they want is just to use me and im also one bodoh case to just believe lah. haha.

well, maybe like he always say, and like my friends say too, just let time puts it all in place. i should just go with the flow right? yeap..i should..

sorry for over thinking about this matter. maybe i just did not want to get hurt again, just this once.

but damn, for the 1st time in my life, im changing, for a man. i started working out, not being anti-social again...ZOMG! haha..im such a spaz..haha..

newayz, im so psyched, he's gonna come back in just 10 days more, eventhough it's just for a very very very short time, but heck, at least i get to see him again :) yeay...can't wait to hug him, kiss him, and just stare into his eyes...*yes baby, ur eyes better be showing love.hahahaha...

u kno u love me,

-x.o.x.o.-