The chat on skype last night got me thinking alot. Seriously, ALOT...
What do men want? What the hell do they actually want? I got to figure that out..
Well, why can't he see what I'm doing, what I do for him? Why can't he understand that I just want to spend one whole day with him, even if that means just lying there beside him? Why can't he spend 1 and a half day with me, and 1 and a half day with his family? That's all that I'm asking. He made me start thinking that it's true what I have thought of all these while, that men just want to use me. Why? Why are men so evil and cruel? Occay, not all, but maybe the ones I meet...Why can't they fall madly deeply in love with me, like how I'm madly deeply in love with them? Or do that only happen in fairytales?
Damn, I just don't get it. He became my boyfriend a day before he left for oversea. Now, after a month, I get to be with him again, tu pun 3 days jer kot, then he's gonna go off again. Is it so hard to just please a lady? Haihhh...I totally respect his decision of wanting to spend time with his family, but, how bout me? I wanna spend time with him too. Oh, maybe the question here is, does he want to spend time with me? Some good quality time..Not just to do it, but to just spend time together, like true lovers? Damn, are we even true lovers? LOL..
Shiet people, all I want is just to spend some time with him. But what he said last night, had got me thinking alot.
This is so not fair. Why does my love life always suck? Why do men always treat me so badly? How many times of hurt I have to go through till I'm finally feel happiness? Maybe I will go to work now. Haihh...I just want to feel love. Yes, I crave for love and attention. This is what happens when that stupid shit people chase after so badly, yeap, MONEY, ruins your family. Then your parents would be so busy thinking about how the fuck to find money, they forget you. They forget they once had a baby whom they gave so much attention to. Yeap mom and dad, fuck my tears flowing like a river now, maybe all the shit I did was just to win your attention! URGH!
Now I'm fucking pissed. Last night I slept feeling fucking pissed too. Fuck, and work, shit, it's getting on my nerves too. I did not fucking stayed in college, finish my fucking diploma program, just to be some pirate ok, yeap, if the police found out, they would put me behind bars, coz I copy so many CDs at work. Is that the job of a graphic designer? FUCK!!
Shit, this love, the love this time, had made me loose my mind. Is it because I really love? If so, DAMN LOVE then.
But seriously, what he said, had got me thinking so much. Am I some person you come to when you need me, then leave as you like? Hmmm...
Sorry readers, sorry for all the swearing...
Btw, if u're my aunty, my uncle, my cousin, my siblings, my lover, my friends, my what the fuck whoever, this is the only place I get to let my feelings out. So fuck you if you think you're gonna go behind my back bitching about me, or turning my blog into a gossip topic. Coz you don't know the fuck I go through in life. So fuck off and just shut after reading! Thank you. After all, no one is perfect. And of all person, I'm just crap.
u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-
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