bullshitting 101~#45 - Changes

While you were in college, or currently in college, have you ever question yourself,after 2years of studying -> 'Why the eff am I doing this course?' or maybe realized 'Oh shoots, I have lost my interest in this course'? 

Well I have..It took me 2 years of being in a design college, 7 years of loving arts and design..I realized, I just suck bigtime at designing, and the thought of loving arts and design, oh well, it went kapooosshhh,straight into the drain, drain of doom, coz it wasnt arts and design that I actually loved, but, it was actually, arts and crafts...

I decided to carry on anywayz..Coz, recently, if you have read my earlier post, you would realize that I was suppose to tell my parents that I wanna quit. But I didnt. =) This is my war, I cant back out now. So, Im gonna fight eventhough I get bruises, cuts, shots and bombed.

But, it's confirmed, that Im gonna fail again definately, this semester. It's confirmed that I will fail Advance Advertising Visual. There's a reason to that. Then, there's Corporate Identity 2, which the lecturer has been rejecting my work all out. This friday is the last day, final project presentation/submition. Last week, last critique, he said that I should repeat, and for the 1st time in my life, I said 'I will consider it, but, I have 1more week, I will still try to do my best.' and WOW, that feeling after that, I was proud of myself. Just like how I avoided those men who wanted to come over when my parents was gone, I knew something bad would happen if they came, I stand out for myself. WOW, i didnt feel cheap for the 1st time, that time. =) 

Is this my change? Is this being matured?

And yesterday, after chatting on MSN with Ms.S, who advised me to talk to my parents, I talked to my dad. I told him that I was gonna fail. And, I felt like crying at that time, coz I felt so relieved letting it out from my heart. I told him everything, in such a short time, I think bout 10mins. Haha. But now, the hard part, he said 'u need to tell mommy'...Aiyooo...That's hard. So, am gonna wait till my result comes, then tell. Unless, dad tells mom 1st..haha.

Newayz, Im actually loving this change in me..It made me a better person. And I hope this change last a lil longer that the last change I had. Better yet, last forever! Haha.

And, Im actually surviving without men. That's a first. Hahaha. I love being single. But that doesnt mean, Im not opening my eyes looking for a future husband. LOL~ But, Im not like before, not desperate in wanting to have a boyfriend. I mean, that's good right? Hmmm...

Well, I also realized that my blog, has become somewhat a 'diary' now..hmmm..before this, it was more like a poet's page, then, a place where i write things that hits the reader's minds, and now, this bullshitting post, has become more like a diary thingy. LMAO~

Newayz, I hope you enjoyed reading. =)

Peace out.

u kno u love me,

x.o.x.o.