bullshitting 101~#40 - something written down on 23rd March 2010

From this break up, I learned something,

Something so precious, to be kept in mind,

Something that no one will ever tell me..

That is, to never fall in the hands of love, ANYMORE!

I also learned that, love will always come with the word pain. They are best of friends. This is what Miss N told me.Haha.

Never trust a man! Never trust the three letter word said by a man - ' I  Love You'. Also, never let your heart be controlled by the word love,NEVER!!

But, it's gonna be quite hard to do this, but i will have to mati-matian try it! I need a change. I have to change myself. But from what I know, I already hated love, all along, grew up hating love. Haha.

And as for Mr.M, he's the biggest coward i've ever known. I was all in for this challenge, then he backed out. Like as if it wasnt hard for me to let go of the person I love? Like as if I wasnt scared of whether I will even find a nice guy like him who gave me a real relationship? Like it wasnt easy for him because he has everything planned out for him? Geezzz!!!

Now, who's happily laughing away being free, free to flirt, free to have intimate relationship with anyone, free of looking at girls, free from being chased down by his stupid use to be gf(me), free from everything, AND, see who is the one suffering the pain....I regret much of adding him on fb!!If only I could turn back time..If only...

But hey, look on the bright side, maybe meeting him in my life was the reason to 'everything happens for a reason'...because if i didnt fall in love so deep with him: 

• I wouldnt stop flirting around like a cheap bitch.
• I wouldnt have felt what it is like to be in a REAL relationship.
• I wouldnt have felt love.
• I wouldnt have stop looking around at men, b4 this, i had 'eye magnet to men'..LOL
• I wouldnt have know few good friends.
• I wouldnt have felt a real guy, with a real sincere heart.
• I wouldnt have known about the lake at Heritage,LOL.
• I wouldnt have watched - gray's anatomy season 6, entourage season 5, and so much more...:)
• I wouldnt have felt the feeling of having a husband.
• I wouldnt have felt the feeling like 'secretly married to a guy,no one knows about it,but every morning crawl into bed with him.
• I wouldnt have felt what it feels like seeing him the 1st thing in the morning when i opened my eyes, and seeing him the last thing at night before i close my eyes.
• I wouldnt know what sex is all about.
• I wouldnt have felt what it feels like having a boyfriend who pays for almost everything..
• Most of all, I WOULDNT HAVE FELT, HIS LOVE. 

Still, till today, after deciding to let him go from my life, after all the pain i went through, somehow, thinking bout him, still makes me smile.. 


u know u love me,
x.o.x.o.