Crapping 101 #43 --> Updates on life... :)

So here I go again, talking about shiets that has happened in my life.


That is why my blog's URL is called haunted-in-sadness...


1st, let me talk about someone. My once upon a time Mr. Sunshine.
Yeap, no one could replace him, no one can show me love like he did in his eyes, no one could do the things he did while we were together. It is fucking sad that he left, what more, he hates me now. Maybe this is for his own good. I'm hazardous, to me, and to him. I'm a virus. LOL. Anyways, yes, I'm slowly healing, but he is still on my mind, I still cry myself to sleep, I still feel his presence around, I still see his eyes and smile, I still see a picture of me with him, I still keep his messages. But one day, I will be able to forget him, yet, know that I once had the best boyfriend anyone could ever have. Oh, I miss Tiger, feel like kidnapping him. LMFAO~


2nd, some may have known about how I have given up on life when I was 15. The other day, I went to the doctor, I finally had the guts to talk to the doctor about myself. He said, he is actually a psychology doctor. WOW. It was like God had sent him to save me. He said, I am having a mild depression. I might need to be on medication for about 2 years. Fuck scary! But, I haven't been hallucinating much, so, I might still be able to cure without medication. Wednesday, I have an appointment with him in Seremban Hospital. Readers, being depressed, having to meet a psychiatrist, does not make a person crazy. What more, just because I was dyingly fighting to get Mr. Sunshine back, does not make me crazy (YOU dont have the fucking rights to say 'sorry to say, but youre going crazy' Fuck You, coz you made me be this ugly monster I am now!) I'm now anxiously waiting for Wednesday, I wonder what will happen. It's scary, but apparently, since the break up, I have been engaging myself with scary and dangerous things, it makes my adrenaline rushes like crazy, it's a little addictive occay! LOL.


3rd, I have called both my sisters to go with me to Jakarta in February. So, I might be going there, Jakarta Pusat, far from Mr. Sunshine, good. Going to meet my Om Efan there, he's good in seeing things, so, got a lot of things to find out from him. I wonder why every time I ask him when I will get married, he never answers. But when my sister or cousin ask, he answers. Does it mean that I won't get married? Hmm. Talking about marriage, yesterday, I told my mom, that I won't be getting married, so, she should not expect a son in law from me. She just shut. I hope she understands, that I'm done with men. I can't seem to trust men anymore. 


4th, I have been looking for a job like crazy in Jakarta South, but can't seem to get one. Nevermind, I think, I'm going to apply in Malaysia first, as a back up, but still look for a job in Jakarta, or Australia. I just need to go away. Praying hard that I will get a job, also, been praying hard for Mr. Sunshine (how stupid).


Anyways, these are the updates in life. It will be occay. Life is a tough one, but the challenges, makes me a stronger person.

" The climb is a tough one, but the view up there is awesome!"

Anyways,


u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-