Let me start this post with a sigh.
Haihhhhh~
Seriously, how many of you in this world got rejected? Or liked someone(in my case,so many), but the feeling was never returned? How many of you felt what it feels like to be heartbroken(oh gosh,I don't have enough fingers to count mine)? It hurts doesn't it? Hmm..
Does it mean that it was because we like the wrong person? Or you fell in love with the wrong person? Or just because the person was choosy? Ha, this one has a point, Malaysian men are always after hot girls. LOL. But seriously. Hmm.
Sometimes I wonder, have those people that we liked ever felt the same way like we did? Hmm. Or do they even know how pain it is to be rejected? Haha.
Anyway, this guy that I like, well, I know he has no feelings for me. But, I ask myself, "Why am I still after you?" Well, he's my friend. I met him 6 years ago at national service. Why did it take me 6 years to finally like him? Why wasn't we friends back then? Oh, but he did mention that back then, he thought I was anti-men. Haha. Next time, y'all should never judge a person by the looks, the way they bring themselves or how they dress up like. Haha. Just because I'm rough and tough, I love wearing men's clothes, I act like I'm a boy, doesn't mean I'm that. Helloo,'read between the lines', think why I did that, not just hearing what people say. Ngeh~ I'm rough and tough because I grew up not having brothers, so my dad thought me and my sisters alot of things that a father should be teaching his son, not daughters, but damn, I'm so greatful my dad thought us to be that. :) Why boyish clothes? Cause it's very comfortable, seriously. LOL. Why act like a boy? Cause I love men/boys/guys, that was 1 way to hang out with them, plus, since I was a kid, I played with boys more than girls, and, I feel like I understand man more than I can understand a women. Haihh...LMAO~
Owh, this guy, you readers know I don't mention names, so let's just call this guy MR. E. :) This mr.E told me alot of things, I learned alot about him, things that you only can learn if you meet and hang out with the guy for a year plus, I learned all that in just couple of weeks, hours of chats. Maybe cause I learn fast about humans. Hmm..
So anyway, since mr. E and I had a quarrel( i think it's a quarrel), we rarely talk now, what more seeing his 'damn i could just kiss him' face on webcam. Haihh..If you think Zac Efron is a super gorgeous hunk, this mr. E is my super gorgeous hunk, but I think if I had no feelings for him, he looks normal, not handsome, just cute maybe, MAYBE. LOL~ Shiet he's gonna kill me if he reads this. Haha.
Owh, I do like him, I really like him. But I don't think he feels the same way like I do. Hmm. But somehow, compared to previous likes, I'm taking it slow this time. And I don't feel as much pain as I do previously. Why? Cause I just like him? not like LIKE him? hmm..nah, I think I really LIKE him..haha..I think about him alot, I miss him so effing much, but then, I know, Love can't be forced, what more, forcing someone to like me back. But, that doesn't mean I should stop my efforts in making him like me. ;P Yeap, I will keep trying, slow maybe, but I won't quit just yet. Not for a long time though. Cause, you know, at somepoint, when you chase something, and you know it's a big NO-NO answer, you gonna stop. Same here in my case.
But what's weird is that, he kept saying he's a bad guy. Yes I haven't met him since 2004, but then, I feel like he's not bad, he's nice, maybe naughty yes, but not bad. Hey, reality check, everyone is naughty right? :) And it would be a miracle if he actually says 'owh, hey, i like you too'..haha..That only happens in dreams..haha..And yes, I would dream about it everyday, just dream lah, cause that ain't gonna happen. LOL. I think, he would be a great boyfriend, a great husband and a great dad. He's funny, he loves cats(I think men who loves animals,is protective, loving and safe to be with), he's nice, he's cute(haha),he's all that a girl could wish for. Hmm.
Neway, so long eh this post? Just about Mr. E..LOL...
Well, the conclusion is, I know the answer is negative, and he's my friend, so, I wished I never had feelings for him. So things would not get complicated. Haihh...
u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-
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