so yeah..he left..but...he didnt leave for good la...he is undergoing training in sabah at this very moment...3months in sabah...then 3months dunno where(but hopefully in kajang)...then 1month back in sabah for d final training..and...he's now actually a sub-inspector...after training,he will naik pangkat to inspector..then dunno when la,he's gonna enter those polis academy n naik pangkat to chief inspector..then kawin with me..hahahaha...
now,its been few days since i last saw him..actually,1week to be exact..and its gonna be for 7months more..unless he gets to be in kajang la..but if not,7months..and i have asked so so so many people this question,"7months is not long right?"....just to be assured...hmm...
actually,im so sad....plus we just met...but hey,i forgot to mention,we have so many common things...its like 'bagai pinang dibelah dua' r weii..hehe...i miss him laaa...arghh....kan best kalau 7bulan tu sama dengan 7hari/7minggu je....hmmm....
but neway,life,is pretty messed up..my works are last minutes...my energy has gone away with the wind..my mind,often flyz away...and wen im driving,i only think of either CRASHING INTO D TOLL'S WALL or IEDRUS(dlguy)...and wen at home,i lock myself up in my room...my mind,gone with the wind...i wish i cud not be who i am today...and i really really wished,i had parents/family members who understands me better..who can actually see n feel what im going through...who can actually,be in d same shoe as mine..
and ive gave up...on studying..on living...i gave up on everything...all i have in my life at this moment is,my babies......every humanbeing has gone away from me..drifted away..even iedrus..but iedrus case is acceptable,he needs his training..hehe...but everyone else...mum?dad?tasha?nadia?fazli?pern?nix?i needed u guys.....i need u guys badly...but,where r u?
can i just float away and vanish into thin air?can i fall from earth into the space n disappear?can i cut my self so deep n alot,that there wont be any skin left for me to cut?can i punch the wall so hard that it breaks?can i hang myself off klcc tower?can i crash my car,into the toll's wall..and if i do,will i be flying through the air b4 i die?can i be assassinated?can i be murdered?
will i be missed?will i be remembered?will i be forgotten?
1 comment:
I'm still around, just getting busier. Need me, reach out for me.
You need to pull yourself out of these mess. We all can only help a lil, and it is up to you, Nat. You are your own penyelamat. Don't give up.
BE STRONG, coz you have to!! I'm not as strong as I want, but still i have to keep holding on.
COz this is the reality. Its like shit man...you know, i know.
So Nat, Don't give up. DLGUY is away, yes i know. But its not just u yang rasa rindu, bla bla bla.. mestilah he feels the same too. :)
*aku nk dedicate lagu nie kat ko. haha. Britney - Stronger. :D:D:D
*hug* want real hug? Call me!hahahaha!
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