flushed away...

-CREEP by radiohead-
"i wish i was special,
so fucking special,
but im a creep,
im a weirdo,what the hell am i doing here?
i dont belong here..."

that song is the perfect song to describe me..i dont have the perfect body,i wish i had..i dont have a perfect soul,i wish i had..and all my life,i was told to do things,well,maybe im the youngest,but,i have feelings too,but my family dont seem to see all that..its always me..'nathra do this,nathra do that'..always me gets the 'doings'..maybe thats one reason y i dont seem to see the point of me being here in this world.i just wanna be all by myself,living my own life,where i cud just do my own thing,in my own perfect little world of mine.
how many of u in this world who has life like mine?a life that is planned by not u,but ur parents.a life where u are told to do things,by ur family,not by ur own head.what can we do about this?
if i should go talk to them,tell them how i feel,they are just gonna say that im thinking to much..as it is,mum already did call me 'a spoilt brat', and that im troublesome to her, and indirectly calling me 'stupid'...it hurts..badly..it effects me!!why do my family,the one i loved the most have to do this to me?i feel unwanted,feel like,im not part of them..that's why,my love for them,are FLUSHED AWAY!!!