well, me and iedrus, we broke up..
actually, he dumped me..
and maybe, because of the stalking..
but hey, nevermind, i learn through mistakes..
it is all done, i got dumped HARD, but its ok..
im fine..yes i miss him,the old him,not the new him...
but, everything happens for a reason...
well well, i have his tshirt,i wonder if i shud give it back,or just forget about it...hmmm...
so, im single now..this time, i think i just have no feelings..
maybe because of all the dumps i get in life..haha..it somehow gives me strength..
neway,
there's another thing that im ok with...
im used to it..
and if it get back like before, i might have troubles with it..
i even feel awkward thinking of hanging out with her..
i guess, this is it..the space she wanted..it was too long..
too long till i just have no interest anymore..
yes, i feel sad..so sad because i miss her and what we had..but also sad because she chose to bring old bad memories back over the relationship we had..i was angry too,i was pissed too,i was hurt too,but,i know whats the meaning of forgive and forget..
then i tried..i did try..and now,when i dont care anymore,she still havent even tried...so,i know from there...maybe i misjudge it,but,its ok,we are better of this way..
hmm..well,now,happy things??
wellll,i coloured my hairrrrrr.......hehehehe...
andddd,im going for a concert this saturday, with my fren, as the media, im gonna be the photographer...how awesome is that?!?well,there is one reason for that,its because im trying to get a job as a part time photographer in her company..hehe..=)
anddddd...a fren of mine, wants me to take her wedding pictures in december...she wants to hire me as her photographer...ZOMG...i told N yesterday that if N gets her camera a.s.a.p,then we cud be partners in crime see...hehehe..meaning,we can start our own photography company laaa...weeeeeee...*jump up and down*
oh,sometimes,
i sit and just stop and think back,
i miss all those amazing things that happen back then,
with my parents and sisters,with my ex bestfren nurul, with my ex school mates, with my kindergarden friends, with my fren pern, everyone i knew before...
and im glad i have N,who just so far,clicks with my brains...
its like, we are twins or something..geeee...oh well,she's amazing...
you know you love me, xoxo...
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
i shud have listen to her..
my mom once told me, that what is currently going on in my life right now will happen...
i should have listen...i should have...
no one knows how i feel right now...
yes,im so sad,so depressed,and i have other shit to handle too...
yet,i can still smile and laugh happily...
but here,in my four walls,i lock myself...i cut myself..i bleed myself..i hurt myself..
why the hell did we have to end up like this?
i should have listen...i should have...
no one knows how i feel right now...
yes,im so sad,so depressed,and i have other shit to handle too...
yet,i can still smile and laugh happily...
but here,in my four walls,i lock myself...i cut myself..i bleed myself..i hurt myself..
why the hell did we have to end up like this?
put all the blame on me...
yes,this is an angry post!!!no thinking involved...
dad blamed me..he said its because of my stupidity that the stray cat has been hanging around my place..
mom blamed me for the reason my sister date the loser..
mom blamed me for being a trouble in her life..
mom blamed me for the reason my sister broke up with sufyan..
the world blames me for being here in this world..
she blame me for breaking this up..
he blamed me for him turning into a playboy..
they blame me for failing..
andddddddd moreee fucking blamessssssssss............
FUCK ME RITE??!!im the one to blame!!!yes,dump allllllllllll ur blames on me...just throw it at me!!!coz it has alwaysssssssssssssssssssssssssssss been about me rite????
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
dad blamed me..he said its because of my stupidity that the stray cat has been hanging around my place..
mom blamed me for the reason my sister date the loser..
mom blamed me for being a trouble in her life..
mom blamed me for the reason my sister broke up with sufyan..
the world blames me for being here in this world..
she blame me for breaking this up..
he blamed me for him turning into a playboy..
they blame me for failing..
andddddddd moreee fucking blamessssssssss............
FUCK ME RITE??!!im the one to blame!!!yes,dump allllllllllll ur blames on me...just throw it at me!!!coz it has alwaysssssssssssssssssssssssssssss been about me rite????
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
sajak hati
baru semalam aku rasa bersalah pada teman paling baikku,
harini, aku digemparkan lagi, aku baru tau, yang selama ini,teman yang ku anggap adik,telah menyimpan perasaannya dariku,
aku betul2 ingat semuanya telah selesai seketika dulu,
tapi,tak sangka,oh,baru ku ingat, aku ini bukan jenis berdendam...
adakah kerana dendam?
adakah kerana sayang?
adakah kerana sakit hati yang kemudiannya memakan diri dan menjadi benci dan meluat dan akhirnya bertukar menjadi dendam?
tapi,apa kamu tidak tahu,
katakan padaku,kalau ku tidak pernah memberitahumu tentang diriku?
apa tidak berkali2 ku telah berkata minta maaf dengan penuh ikhlas?
manusia melakukan kesilapan,manusia tetap akan melakukan kesilapan banyak kali..
aku ingat kamu telah pun melupakan kisah lama,kerana kamu sendiri berkata kita tidak akan bertengkar lagi,tapi kini...
sayang kerana ini terjadi..
aku tau kamu berperasaan,
aku juga berperasaan,
aku tau kamu terluka,
aku juga terluka,
mungkin benar keputusanmu,
aku tidak tahu,
aku takut untuk berkata apa,
kerana,
aku tau,apa saja yang aku kata,semuanya adalah salah.
tapi,tetap disini, ku ingin meminta maaf,kalau aku bisa mematikan tubuhku ini,supaya kamu dapat melupakannya,ku akan membuat begitu,(bukankah manusia selalu memaafkan orang yang telah mati?)
mungkin,jika ku fikirkan lagi,ku akan jatuh sakit.....
-sajak hati-
-written on 12th july 2009,spontaneously-
harini, aku digemparkan lagi, aku baru tau, yang selama ini,teman yang ku anggap adik,telah menyimpan perasaannya dariku,
aku betul2 ingat semuanya telah selesai seketika dulu,
tapi,tak sangka,oh,baru ku ingat, aku ini bukan jenis berdendam...
adakah kerana dendam?
adakah kerana sayang?
adakah kerana sakit hati yang kemudiannya memakan diri dan menjadi benci dan meluat dan akhirnya bertukar menjadi dendam?
tapi,apa kamu tidak tahu,
katakan padaku,kalau ku tidak pernah memberitahumu tentang diriku?
apa tidak berkali2 ku telah berkata minta maaf dengan penuh ikhlas?
manusia melakukan kesilapan,manusia tetap akan melakukan kesilapan banyak kali..
aku ingat kamu telah pun melupakan kisah lama,kerana kamu sendiri berkata kita tidak akan bertengkar lagi,tapi kini...
sayang kerana ini terjadi..
aku tau kamu berperasaan,
aku juga berperasaan,
aku tau kamu terluka,
aku juga terluka,
mungkin benar keputusanmu,
aku tidak tahu,
aku takut untuk berkata apa,
kerana,
aku tau,apa saja yang aku kata,semuanya adalah salah.
tapi,tetap disini, ku ingin meminta maaf,kalau aku bisa mematikan tubuhku ini,supaya kamu dapat melupakannya,ku akan membuat begitu,(bukankah manusia selalu memaafkan orang yang telah mati?)
mungkin,jika ku fikirkan lagi,ku akan jatuh sakit.....
-sajak hati-
-written on 12th july 2009,spontaneously-
Sunday, July 05, 2009
bullshitting 101~#4
well, today, 4th of july, something happened again, as usual...
imagine, ur father, scolded u, for no reason, because he was pissed at ur mother..
suck right?
its like, 'wtf,why do u have to let ur anger out at me?'
so i had a bad day..
i went to my aunt's, to teach my lil cousins arts, as usual, on a saturday(FOR THE $$$),
and,they were about to go out, they asked me out,
so,instead of being a teacher for today,
i followed them, and i had fun..weeeee~
and,ZOMG,my aunt was like 'so nathra,u have a boyfriend now izzit?'
and i said 'erkkkkk,no lahhh'
then she said 'i think u have one...just tell me laa,im cool'
and i still said no...
then at the parking lot,somehow,we were talking bout 'men and cartoonish like movies'
and she said 'corey(my cousin's bf) sure oso like it,how bout ur bf nathra?'
and i said 'no lah,puhhleaseeee,he's an inspector,he dont watch cartoons'
then she said 'ooo,so u got bf laaa??'
and i was like 'damnnnnn' in my heart...
hope she wont let the secret out to my mom..fuhh...scary...
well,see,i dont mind if my parents finds out i have a bf..its about time see..hehehe...
but,my parents,MY LOVELY PARENTS,they have these super high expectation,that i just cant CANT catch up with...
my mom once said 'nathra,u shud find a bf like pilot....'
see...hmmm...i dont care who my bf is,what he does,coz what's important is,am i happy?
i can marry a rich dude,but live another effing sad life right??
but what if,i marry a person,who's just a normal guy,but,i live a happy life with him?
after all,they are,still a person right?hmmmmmm....
ok,im stopping now...cant think anymore..wanna watch 'hotel for dogs' now..weeeeeeee~
-xoxo-
imagine, ur father, scolded u, for no reason, because he was pissed at ur mother..
suck right?
its like, 'wtf,why do u have to let ur anger out at me?'
so i had a bad day..
i went to my aunt's, to teach my lil cousins arts, as usual, on a saturday(FOR THE $$$),
and,they were about to go out, they asked me out,
so,instead of being a teacher for today,
i followed them, and i had fun..weeeee~
and,ZOMG,my aunt was like 'so nathra,u have a boyfriend now izzit?'
and i said 'erkkkkk,no lahhh'
then she said 'i think u have one...just tell me laa,im cool'
and i still said no...
then at the parking lot,somehow,we were talking bout 'men and cartoonish like movies'
and she said 'corey(my cousin's bf) sure oso like it,how bout ur bf nathra?'
and i said 'no lah,puhhleaseeee,he's an inspector,he dont watch cartoons'
then she said 'ooo,so u got bf laaa??'
and i was like 'damnnnnn' in my heart...
hope she wont let the secret out to my mom..fuhh...scary...
well,see,i dont mind if my parents finds out i have a bf..its about time see..hehehe...
but,my parents,MY LOVELY PARENTS,they have these super high expectation,that i just cant CANT catch up with...
my mom once said 'nathra,u shud find a bf like pilot....'
see...hmmm...i dont care who my bf is,what he does,coz what's important is,am i happy?
i can marry a rich dude,but live another effing sad life right??
but what if,i marry a person,who's just a normal guy,but,i live a happy life with him?
after all,they are,still a person right?hmmmmmm....
ok,im stopping now...cant think anymore..wanna watch 'hotel for dogs' now..weeeeeeee~
-xoxo-
Thursday, July 02, 2009
bullshitting 101~#3
yes yes,
in life,my pretty effing life,
i have hurt people,
i have hurt people badly,moderately and mildly...haha..
my words,can stab a person's heart..
well,im glad im good at that...
but to people that ive hurt,
maybe i didnt intentionally mean to hurt u?
or was it intentionally?
maybe there was time it was unintentionally and vice versa...
payback is a bitch...but,nathra,she aint a payback person(but she's a bitch,haha)...
see,no matter how much hurt she is,
she can never payback,
yet,she still hang in there...
its that relationship she appreciates,
therefore,she closes 1eye...
how bout the other eye?(wont it still be feeling the feeling of being poked?)
hmmm...
i was waiting for sorry from alot of people in my life...
i waited...but yet,its always me who have to apologize...
its always me who have to give in..
why can you give in?why??
take a mirror, place it in front of u, look at your self 1st, do u deserve an apology from me?
*so much anger in me...its all life experience shit, and u people is the one who gives me this experience...thanks alot bitches and asses!!!urghhh!!!you ugly fugly creatures that's always expecting an apology from me!!!realize your mistake 1st la..arghh...
*tiada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau pun yang mati...
-xoxo-
in life,my pretty effing life,
i have hurt people,
i have hurt people badly,moderately and mildly...haha..
my words,can stab a person's heart..
well,im glad im good at that...
but to people that ive hurt,
maybe i didnt intentionally mean to hurt u?
or was it intentionally?
maybe there was time it was unintentionally and vice versa...
payback is a bitch...but,nathra,she aint a payback person(but she's a bitch,haha)...
see,no matter how much hurt she is,
she can never payback,
yet,she still hang in there...
its that relationship she appreciates,
therefore,she closes 1eye...
how bout the other eye?(wont it still be feeling the feeling of being poked?)
hmmm...
i was waiting for sorry from alot of people in my life...
i waited...but yet,its always me who have to apologize...
its always me who have to give in..
why can you give in?why??
take a mirror, place it in front of u, look at your self 1st, do u deserve an apology from me?
*so much anger in me...its all life experience shit, and u people is the one who gives me this experience...thanks alot bitches and asses!!!urghhh!!!you ugly fugly creatures that's always expecting an apology from me!!!realize your mistake 1st la..arghh...
*tiada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau pun yang mati...
-xoxo-
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
let's all go naked...
"Let's all go naked, be ourselves, take out our masks, show our true selves"
ain't gonna happen, ain't it?
i don't think anyone could ever do that, just show your true self?hmmm...
to certain people, i can, to certain people, i can't show my true self...
but to most of the people, i put a fake happy mask everyday every time before i step out from a place called home...
why can't i just show the real me to the world?
why do i need to be fake?
or wait, maybe i am confused if i am happy, or if i am sad...hmmm...
-xoxo-
ain't gonna happen, ain't it?
i don't think anyone could ever do that, just show your true self?hmmm...
to certain people, i can, to certain people, i can't show my true self...
but to most of the people, i put a fake happy mask everyday every time before i step out from a place called home...
why can't i just show the real me to the world?
why do i need to be fake?
or wait, maybe i am confused if i am happy, or if i am sad...hmmm...
-xoxo-
Shhh....
Silent night,
Peaceful night,
Shhhh,
Do you hear it?
Do you hear the sound of silent?
How amazing it is,
That the only sound I was hearing,
was coming from the crickets outside,
And the sound of my room fan,
And the sound of the cat's biscuit dropping as it slips from my cat's mouth,
Oh, I looked outside the window,
How dark it is,
But the street lights shines and brighten the earth,
No movements tonight,
Shhhh,
Silent night,
Peaceful night.
-written on 23rd June 2009-
-xoxo-
Peaceful night,
Shhhh,
Do you hear it?
Do you hear the sound of silent?
How amazing it is,
That the only sound I was hearing,
was coming from the crickets outside,
And the sound of my room fan,
And the sound of the cat's biscuit dropping as it slips from my cat's mouth,
Oh, I looked outside the window,
How dark it is,
But the street lights shines and brighten the earth,
No movements tonight,
Shhhh,
Silent night,
Peaceful night.
-written on 23rd June 2009-
-xoxo-
iedrus and his life as an inspector...
well,as some of u may have know,iedrus is this 22year old inspector who is so darn effing sexay in his uniform..ohh la laaaa...wkakakaka...
neway, i cannot get mad at him eventhough he promised to call me but didnt...i cannot get mad at him eventhough he said he will meet me but he didnt...i cannot get mad at him even if he promised to come on my bday day,but he didnt...i cannot get mad at him even if he was the cause of us getting lost in PJ...i just cant...see,somehow,i understand his job...i know he needs to sumbangkan bakti pada negara(yg bengong ni)...
i maybe cant get mad...but,i am sad...i am disappointed...sometimes i think,i waited for 7months(despite all the cheatings behind him),and now,i still gotta wait?he dont call me at all...and there's no way i can call him,coz he dont own a phone...sadis r...all i can do is stalk him,or crash pern's place(feel like im a bitch coz feel like im using her and i dont wanna use her)...so,due to feeling like that,i found a new way,just park my car a lil far from pern's house(so that pa dont see),and stalk my boyfriend...damn...nak bercinta pun payah...penuh keseksaan jer...
that day,i seriously asked iedrus,if he really love me,or was he just trying to get into my pants....he said...he loves me...then he asked me back,if i love him...i said yes..then he asked y i love him...and i said,'i dont know'...so funny la,y izzit people have to ask y we love them?see,being in love with a person,it doesnt have a reason...it is just when a heart,have locked on a target,and it is kept that way...ZOMG,1st time im saying that sentence..haha..
omg,im running from my title,aint i..haha...well,so yeah,iedrus,he's so bz...i understand his job,his duty...eventhough i dont show it...but in my heart,in my head,in my body and soul,i know that that is his responsibilities...but it wud be really nice,if he cud at least call me...right?hmmmm....
and the thinking goes on again.......
-xoxo-
neway, i cannot get mad at him eventhough he promised to call me but didnt...i cannot get mad at him eventhough he said he will meet me but he didnt...i cannot get mad at him even if he promised to come on my bday day,but he didnt...i cannot get mad at him even if he was the cause of us getting lost in PJ...i just cant...see,somehow,i understand his job...i know he needs to sumbangkan bakti pada negara(yg bengong ni)...
i maybe cant get mad...but,i am sad...i am disappointed...sometimes i think,i waited for 7months(despite all the cheatings behind him),and now,i still gotta wait?he dont call me at all...and there's no way i can call him,coz he dont own a phone...sadis r...all i can do is stalk him,or crash pern's place(feel like im a bitch coz feel like im using her and i dont wanna use her)...so,due to feeling like that,i found a new way,just park my car a lil far from pern's house(so that pa dont see),and stalk my boyfriend...damn...nak bercinta pun payah...penuh keseksaan jer...
that day,i seriously asked iedrus,if he really love me,or was he just trying to get into my pants....he said...he loves me...then he asked me back,if i love him...i said yes..then he asked y i love him...and i said,'i dont know'...so funny la,y izzit people have to ask y we love them?see,being in love with a person,it doesnt have a reason...it is just when a heart,have locked on a target,and it is kept that way...ZOMG,1st time im saying that sentence..haha..
omg,im running from my title,aint i..haha...well,so yeah,iedrus,he's so bz...i understand his job,his duty...eventhough i dont show it...but in my heart,in my head,in my body and soul,i know that that is his responsibilities...but it wud be really nice,if he cud at least call me...right?hmmmm....
and the thinking goes on again.......
-xoxo-
27th june 2009
that day, turned out to be shit...
there are secrets that i wont let out that happened on that day...
laughing hard with nix,awesome laaa...and that night,sending her home,we did something we alwayssssssssss do....'BOOOOO' at people by the roadside,on the motobikes,and to those with their glasses down..hahahaha...
iedrus said he wud come meet me at mv,but he didnt come,but i didnt get mad at all bout that...i just cant...nix said,maybe because we understand each other,coz we know each other,coz we r both the youngest...hmm..maybe la...
this year, i didnt get to blow off 23 candles off the cake...i didnt get a cake...every other year,without fail,i always get my cake...maybe.......i shud have just stayed at home instead of going out...rite?then mum n dad wud have surprised me with a cake like they always do...hmmm...
*sad,tears in my eyes now*
-xoxo-
there are secrets that i wont let out that happened on that day...
laughing hard with nix,awesome laaa...and that night,sending her home,we did something we alwayssssssssss do....'BOOOOO' at people by the roadside,on the motobikes,and to those with their glasses down..hahahaha...
iedrus said he wud come meet me at mv,but he didnt come,but i didnt get mad at all bout that...i just cant...nix said,maybe because we understand each other,coz we know each other,coz we r both the youngest...hmm..maybe la...
this year, i didnt get to blow off 23 candles off the cake...i didnt get a cake...every other year,without fail,i always get my cake...maybe.......i shud have just stayed at home instead of going out...rite?then mum n dad wud have surprised me with a cake like they always do...hmmm...
*sad,tears in my eyes now*
-xoxo-
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Bullshitting101~#2
written on: 18th June 2009(before i came to my senses)
well,once upon a time,i learned that if you love someone,you gotta learn to let the person go...
yes,i am ready to let the person go...
but kan,like i said,and many people say,EVERYONE DESERVE A 2ND CHANCE la...
i must fight for it..right?
hmm..if i give up,like how i always give up,then,no point la...no point in living..
but,the thing that pisses me off,is that u dont quit something u just started la!!haishh...
sadis taw...sadis...cam pengecut pun ada...macam pesalah pun ada...uhhhh,cheeky..hehehehe...
well,once upon a time,i learned that if you love someone,you gotta learn to let the person go...
yes,i am ready to let the person go...
but kan,like i said,and many people say,EVERYONE DESERVE A 2ND CHANCE la...
i must fight for it..right?
hmm..if i give up,like how i always give up,then,no point la...no point in living..
but,the thing that pisses me off,is that u dont quit something u just started la!!haishh...
sadis taw...sadis...cam pengecut pun ada...macam pesalah pun ada...uhhhh,cheeky..hehehehe...
aku memang merindui dia,yeah,i do really miss him...but,i cant force someone into loving me la kan..hehe..i only can hope..and dream..and keep on dreaming..but we did have a plan..didnt we..but its ok...maybe i wasnt the one who was suppose to be in that plan..its ok..i totally understand...
people,remember,"DONT EVER LEAVE SOMEONE HANGING WITH A MILLION QUESTIONS"
people,remember,"DO NOT QUIT SOMETHING U STARTED,IF U WANNA QUIT,DONT START IT.."
same goes to marriage...
hahaha...well,i guess,when u r really heartbroken crashed crushed(wow),u just go crazy for a bit,but,if u r strong enuf,u can move on,u can do it,even though the memories haunts u down...but i know,i am strong enuf..and at least,i changed..thanks for that special person who made me change...i became a lil bit more girly,and i feel hard to simply swear,and i sing happy songs like 'always look at the bright side of life'...hehehe...
but,somehow,i tot that person was different,really different,but,it turns out that he was just the same as the others...takperla...kita belajar dari pengajaran...
aku pun xkan jadi pushy...aku akan jadi penyabar...and,who knows,soon,nathra will wear tudung(feels like it laaaaa)...hehehe...neways,i love that person,and always will...but i will mend back my broken heart like i always do...hehehehe...
but,hey,THANK U...
~xoxo
people,remember,"DONT EVER LEAVE SOMEONE HANGING WITH A MILLION QUESTIONS"
people,remember,"DO NOT QUIT SOMETHING U STARTED,IF U WANNA QUIT,DONT START IT.."
same goes to marriage...
hahaha...well,i guess,when u r really heartbroken crashed crushed(wow),u just go crazy for a bit,but,if u r strong enuf,u can move on,u can do it,even though the memories haunts u down...but i know,i am strong enuf..and at least,i changed..thanks for that special person who made me change...i became a lil bit more girly,and i feel hard to simply swear,and i sing happy songs like 'always look at the bright side of life'...hehehe...
but,somehow,i tot that person was different,really different,but,it turns out that he was just the same as the others...takperla...kita belajar dari pengajaran...
aku pun xkan jadi pushy...aku akan jadi penyabar...and,who knows,soon,nathra will wear tudung(feels like it laaaaa)...hehehe...neways,
but,hey,THANK U...
~xoxo
W.E.M.L.
well well...
i guess,if i wud be given a nickname,i wud be call,'the confused one'...who doesnt even know of what she wants in life...
1) i dont know if what i said before,bout not loving iedrus,was true or was just because i found someone new...
2) i am being a desperate bitch rite now,arent i?coz im looking for iedrus again...
3) i can move on from being dump..i found out the truth..not from sharif though...i realized,it was my mistake all along..i pushed him too hard,that i accidentally pushed him away..
4) i told my friend that i wanna banned 27th june in my life,meaning no presents,no wishes,but,i really dont know how true i want that...hmmm..
5) i dont know if i still love iedrus,but,i really really do miss him alot...
6) i've lost my mind,i cannot think anymore,its like,i lost my brains or something...y?
7) but im already fine from being dumped...
8) actually,signs were there all along,that me and sharif mmg xserasi from the start..he is just him,and im me...we r two different people with different likings...hmm...no wonder everyday i sure sing 'kita berdua,jauh berbeza,langit dan bumi,blablabla' everytime after i reach home from seeing him...haha...
see...and there's more going on...hmmm...
"WhatEvaMajorLoser-W.E.M.L."
-xoxo-
i guess,if i wud be given a nickname,i wud be call,'the confused one'...who doesnt even know of what she wants in life...
1) i dont know if what i said before,bout not loving iedrus,was true or was just because i found someone new...
2) i am being a desperate bitch rite now,arent i?coz im looking for iedrus again...
3) i can move on from being dump..i found out the truth..not from sharif though...i realized,it was my mistake all along..i pushed him too hard,that i accidentally pushed him away..
4) i told my friend that i wanna banned 27th june in my life,meaning no presents,no wishes,but,i really dont know how true i want that...hmmm..
5) i dont know if i still love iedrus,but,i really really do miss him alot...
6) i've lost my mind,i cannot think anymore,its like,i lost my brains or something...y?
7) but im already fine from being dumped...
8) actually,signs were there all along,that me and sharif mmg xserasi from the start..he is just him,and im me...we r two different people with different likings...hmm...no wonder everyday i sure sing 'kita berdua,jauh berbeza,langit dan bumi,blablabla' everytime after i reach home from seeing him...haha...
see...and there's more going on...hmmm...
"WhatEvaMajorLoser-W.E.M.L."
-xoxo-
Thursday, June 18, 2009
bullshitting101~#1
life isn't as bad as i thought it is..
doesn't mean that, one thing in your life goes away,you gotta be down..
if you have great friends,they just know how to make u feel better..
well,shit happens in life,rite?and,everything happens for a reason..
and,i know,everybody hates to be left hanging...hmm..
i wonder,what awaits me ahead..
will i end up having the one i love as the one?
will i be working in the advertising line as what im studying now?
will i be a successful person?
will i have a great life ahead?
will i be able to move on in life when im heartbroken?
i guess,its up to me right?its how i colour that white piece of cloth...
yeah...after all this crying and saying that i wanna die and stupid stuff like that,
i came to my senses...i came back to earth...i can do it..so what if just because of one stupid shit that happened,i have to screw up...unless,i am and was born to just screw up(hehehe)...
well,one thing u all gotta know,nathra is a very very negative and impatient person...
oh,talking about impatient,
dear friends,who've ive hurt,no matter what way ive hurt u,i wanna apologize..
and,people,remember,no matter how lost u feel,how angry u feel,how stupid u feel,EVERYONE DESERVE A 2ND CHANCE...
and,to all u mabukers out there-"DRINKING IS NOT A SOLUTION!!!"
and,to all u cowards or messed up people out there,-"TALKING IS THE BEST SOLUTION"~that's what adults do(if u say u r matured laaa)...
p/s:sorrie if this note singgung u readers feelings...this is my bullshitting mind speaking...hehe..
~XOXO
doesn't mean that, one thing in your life goes away,you gotta be down..
if you have great friends,they just know how to make u feel better..
well,shit happens in life,rite?and,everything happens for a reason..
and,i know,everybody hates to be left hanging...hmm..
i wonder,what awaits me ahead..
will i end up having the one i love as the one?
will i be working in the advertising line as what im studying now?
will i be a successful person?
will i have a great life ahead?
will i be able to move on in life when im heartbroken?
i guess,its up to me right?its how i colour that white piece of cloth...
yeah...after all this crying and saying that i wanna die and stupid stuff like that,
i came to my senses...i came back to earth...i can do it..so what if just because of one stupid shit that happened,i have to screw up...unless,i am and was born to just screw up(hehehe)...
well,one thing u all gotta know,nathra is a very very negative and impatient person...
oh,talking about impatient,
dear friends,who've ive hurt,no matter what way ive hurt u,i wanna apologize..
and,people,remember,no matter how lost u feel,how angry u feel,how stupid u feel,EVERYONE DESERVE A 2ND CHANCE...
and,to all u mabukers out there-"DRINKING IS NOT A SOLUTION!!!"
and,to all u cowards or messed up people out there,-"TALKING IS THE BEST SOLUTION"~that's what adults do(if u say u r matured laaa)...
p/s:sorrie if this note singgung u readers feelings...this is my bullshitting mind speaking...hehe..
~XOXO
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
replied back msg...
hi..u xpenah sakitkan ati i,walaupun yeah,i ada xpuas ati dengan u..sharif,what happen to u?ini bukanlah sharif yang i kenal?i ada sakitkan hati u ke?i ada singgung perasaan u ke?hmm..kenapa u tetibe jadi camni?izzit because im just to clingy?sharif,the past was meant to be in the past...u met me for a reason..but now u r quitting what u started...i nak faham u..i know,inside u,there's this whole new wonderful person in there...u need to move on from the past...i accepted who u are...i choose u...sharif,apa maksud u dengan keserasian antara kita tiada?i tidak merasakan camtu pun...i tried to talk to u,but u seem to not open up to me..and,on saturday,u said u ada something nak bincang dengan i,is this the matter?kalau ye,ini bukan berbincang namanya sharif...u r just running away...y?talk to me...lets meet up,and talk...adults talk,so come,lets talk...face to face...look me in the eye,and tell me all this...one last time...
p/s:ur ayat gile jiwang..didnt know u cud say things yg berbunga2...and,i miss ya,we really did actually have something special...
this was what i replied to him...and gosh,my mood swings like faster than the rocket...geez...one second im fine,one second i feel sad,one second i feel happy...geez...wat's wrong?
p/s:ur ayat gile jiwang..didnt know u cud say things yg berbunga2...and,i miss ya,we really did actually have something special...
this was what i replied to him...and gosh,my mood swings like faster than the rocket...geez...one second im fine,one second i feel sad,one second i feel happy...geez...wat's wrong?
break up msg..
hi....sebelum i cakap apa2 i nak minta maaf dulu,jika selama ni i banyak sakit kan hati u...dan i nak ucapkan terima kasih banyak2 untuk apa saja yg u buat untuk i...selama kita kenal...u tau tak sebenarnya kadang2 apa yg kita rancang tak semestinya berjalan seperti yg diharapkan,jadi kuatkan hati u sebab i bukan membenci u,bukan ada perempuan lain dan bukan sebab i marahkan u....tidak ada cacat celanya dari pandangan i,cantik manis sama macam manusia lain,apa pun situasinya kita tetap bole jadi kawan dan soal jodoh semuanya kerja tuhan,i tak nak tipu u,setelah sekian hari ini i mengenali u i cuba untuk cari keserasian antara u dengan i....jelas sekali sebenarnya sayang i pada u berbatas tidak bole diberi lebih....sebab hati ni tak bole nak dipaksa lagi....i harap u faham....tiada soal atau isu lain selain isu mengenai hati kita sendiri...setiap perlakuan u sebenarnya tidak sesuai untuk i mungkin disebabkan kisah silam i,i dh tak tau macam nak layan perempuan,manja u,comel u sebenar nya sangat istimewa tp sayang sebab ia bukan untuk i,sebaliknya orang lain,mungkin jodoh u nanti i tak tau dan i tak tau apa akan jadi kat i lg 2 3 tahun...i minta u faham isi hati i,i tanak pura2,dan i tak bole tipu hati i...u baik dan u bole jadi lg baik dari sekarang...bukan i tak suka kat u tak sayang kat u,tapi keserasian antara kita tiada,jadi i dah fikir masak2 lagi lama hubungan kita nanti hati kita akan jadi lagi rumit,dan mulai sekarang kita kawan je tak lebih dari itu,i minta maaf.
that was a break up message i received...tak paham r,everything was fine..just because my status kat facebook merepek2 emonyer,dia rasa aku jadi gila sbb dia r?weh,ingat aku xda keje lain nak bwat dari jadi gila hanya sbb seekor jantan yang tak tau nak menghargai apa yg dia ada???arghhh.....fuck la....fuck!!!!and all my fucking problems pun had to start at the same time la kan?babi sial pukimak cibai hanjing sial!!!arghhhhh....
that was a break up message i received...tak paham r,everything was fine..just because my status kat facebook merepek2 emonyer,dia rasa aku jadi gila sbb dia r?weh,ingat aku xda keje lain nak bwat dari jadi gila hanya sbb seekor jantan yang tak tau nak menghargai apa yg dia ada???arghhh.....fuck la....fuck!!!!and all my fucking problems pun had to start at the same time la kan?babi sial pukimak cibai hanjing sial!!!arghhhhh....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
men and women
what's up with men? its so hard to understand them, and its so hard for them to understand us girls...
MEN:
-stupid
-straight
-lame
-heartbreakers
-cold
-heartless
-suckers!!
WOMEN:
-smart
-flickered minded
-emotional
-hot
-loving
-annoying at times
-good at planning
-soft hearted
so, basically, men and women are two different human beings with different brain shape i guess..hahahaha...
-xoxo-
MEN:
-stupid
-straight
-lame
-heartbreakers
-cold
-heartless
-suckers!!
WOMEN:
-smart
-flickered minded
-emotional
-hot
-loving
-annoying at times
-good at planning
-soft hearted
so, basically, men and women are two different human beings with different brain shape i guess..hahahaha...
-xoxo-
Sunday, June 07, 2009
latest newsflash about my love life..
so,
latest news,
dlguy dont call me anymore,i think he sorta get the hint(me not answering his calls)
but,i feel bad though..hmm..
but sharif,he's nice..ive been changing alot..having lotsa sense now in my head too due to sharif lecturing me alot..hahahaha....sweet..i find he cute in ALL WAYS!!!hahaha...
XOXO~
latest news,
dlguy dont call me anymore,i think he sorta get the hint(me not answering his calls)
but,i feel bad though..hmm..
but sharif,he's nice..ive been changing alot..having lotsa sense now in my head too due to sharif lecturing me alot..hahahaha....sweet..i find he cute in ALL WAYS!!!hahaha...
XOXO~
special edition for my love...
there are simple things that i find sooo amazing,
the simple things that u do,
the simple but amazing things that happen between us..
i love how my heart beats waiting to see u,
i love how u talk sense into me,
i love the way u clench your teeth when u cant resist looking at me,
i love the way u smell,
i love how your smell stick to my palm when we let go of our hands,
i love how your eyes whispers to me saying that u r all mine,
i love it when we talk for hours on the phone,
and how my legs just cant stop moving when im talking to u,
MOST OF ALL, I LOVE BEING IN LOVE WITH U...
i appreciate every single second spending time with u,
i appreciate every moment i spend with u,
and i want to spend the rest of my life,feeling more...
i <3>
the simple things that u do,
the simple but amazing things that happen between us..
i love how my heart beats waiting to see u,
i love how u talk sense into me,
i love the way u clench your teeth when u cant resist looking at me,
i love the way u smell,
i love how your smell stick to my palm when we let go of our hands,
i love how your eyes whispers to me saying that u r all mine,
i love it when we talk for hours on the phone,
and how my legs just cant stop moving when im talking to u,
MOST OF ALL, I LOVE BEING IN LOVE WITH U...
i appreciate every single second spending time with u,
i appreciate every moment i spend with u,
and i want to spend the rest of my life,feeling more...
i <3>
Friday, May 29, 2009
in pain and left in pain...
i woke up this morning, with a terrible pain in me, lower part from the chest, terrible terrible pain..i woke up from sleep, not a peaceful sleep, its a freaking scary sleep, but awesome dream, but scary sleep...u understand?hmm..i presume u dont...neway, im in pain right, and i still had to go for my best friends marriage, been running around the whole day, then my head started to feel like my brains were loose...like when i walk, i can feel a terrible vibration in my head, yeah,picture that!!when i sit, i get up gosh the pain comes attacking me like worldwar2 man!!arghh...till now, its 10pm now, i just got back from a wedding, i told my dad that i wanna go to the doctor, he said ask mum about it, so i asked mum, and she said 'u go doctor also what the doctor can do?take medicine onlyyyy'....damn...so yeah, my parents rather loose me than bringing me to the doctor right??so if i die, then only they will realize that im in fucking pain right??? like hellooooo, im the one suffering, of course u dont care right??!!arghhh....
are your parents like that too?
my boyfriend forced me to go to the doctor, now i know why i didnt wanna tell my parents that i wanna go to the doctor, coz telling them, and they saying no, it makes my pain even worse!!bloody hell!!!arghhh...
pern, nix, if i die, show them this post, show my parents this post, tell them, that my body has been disfunctioning alot, and they didnt even care!!!
are your parents like that too?
my boyfriend forced me to go to the doctor, now i know why i didnt wanna tell my parents that i wanna go to the doctor, coz telling them, and they saying no, it makes my pain even worse!!bloody hell!!!arghhh...
pern, nix, if i die, show them this post, show my parents this post, tell them, that my body has been disfunctioning alot, and they didnt even care!!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
2 in 1
if a person claims that he or she loves u,
and at the same time, he or she dont have a phone,
dont u think he or she shud try no matter how, to call u?
hurmpp...
maybe he did ran outta love too......
newayz,
this new guy,shariff,he's great...he's just sooo cute..arghh..somehow, he makes me feel like i wanna be a better person, live a greater live, carry on living without hating it, be a real girl(finally)...i mean, seriously, im like, starting to think of 'oh man,what am i gonna wear today?', and ive been singing songs like 'allllways look at the brighttttt side of life'....hahahahaha...omg,im changing...huhu...glad..oh,but imagine me changing, but last time,i always break up with the person when i start to feel that the person ask me to change.hahahaha....wow...WOW...seriously,WOW!!!
and at the same time, he or she dont have a phone,
dont u think he or she shud try no matter how, to call u?
hurmpp...
maybe he did ran outta love too......
newayz,
this new guy,shariff,he's great...he's just sooo cute..arghh..somehow, he makes me feel like i wanna be a better person, live a greater live, carry on living without hating it, be a real girl(finally)...i mean, seriously, im like, starting to think of 'oh man,what am i gonna wear today?', and ive been singing songs like 'allllways look at the brighttttt side of life'....hahahahaha...omg,im changing...huhu...glad..oh,but imagine me changing, but last time,i always break up with the person when i start to feel that the person ask me to change.hahahaha....wow...WOW...seriously,WOW!!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
NEWSFLASH: NEW BF!!!
so,i met this new guy on facebook,he's nice,he's sweet,he cares about me,he didnt just left me shut for 7months then suddenly one day text me and the other day shut again(arghhh)...well,i like him too,at that time laa,now,i love him..bit by bit,and it will be soo much soon...
his name is sharif,he's..ermm...he's arghhh sooo sweet...hehe..he's a photographer/musician..he's smart..he definately can speak english...his lips are sooooooo soft(hehehe),yeap,went out with him today,kissed for the 1st time..ohh,and now,im just stillllll feel like im in lala land....hmmm...that feeling,of his soft lips,on mine,ohhh,i just cant forget...
ok,that's the latest news for now..hehe..before i get too in detail and make everyone puke..hahaha...
yeap..that's about it...btw,i just found out today,that he's a shy guy...when meeting girls..haha..cute...arghhh....kufumaufaurofogolfoldifiafa(nix,u know what im saying..haha..)
p/s: what happens to iedrus?hmm...letting him go,i guess...coz,now i think,he actually left me,that day he stopped calling me..and 7months?gosh,that's a pretty long time..that i aint sure bout my feelings anymore..and,i think,by the way he sounded that day,i pretty much sure,he kindda lost that feeling too...hurmpp...
-xoxo-
his name is sharif,he's..ermm...he's arghhh sooo sweet...hehe..he's a photographer/musician..he's smart..he definately can speak english...his lips are sooooooo soft(hehehe),yeap,went out with him today,kissed for the 1st time..ohh,and now,im just stillllll feel like im in lala land....hmmm...that feeling,of his soft lips,on mine,ohhh,i just cant forget...
ok,that's the latest news for now..hehe..before i get too in detail and make everyone puke..hahaha...
yeap..that's about it...btw,i just found out today,that he's a shy guy...when meeting girls..haha..cute...arghhh....kufumaufaurofogolfoldifiafa(nix,u know what im saying..haha..)
p/s: what happens to iedrus?hmm...letting him go,i guess...coz,now i think,he actually left me,that day he stopped calling me..and 7months?gosh,that's a pretty long time..that i aint sure bout my feelings anymore..and,i think,by the way he sounded that day,i pretty much sure,he kindda lost that feeling too...hurmpp...
-xoxo-
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Miracle Day...
ZOMG...
Today: Miracle Day
I woke up at 2.30pm today, and as usual, as i wake up, the 1st thing i do is to check my phone(hehehe)...So i saw that i got a message, i viewed message and i got shocked, and my eyes just open widely...I didnt expect it at all...I got a message from someone that i have just been waiting for 7months...
Yes, Iedrus text me..he said 'hai syg...' and i just didnt even believe that it was him, plus i just woke up see, i really thought i was dreaming..So i text his brother and i called cik Natelppa..
To cut the story short, Iedrus told me to call him if i dont believe it, and cik Natelppa gave me the courage to call him..And i asked him 3question to make sure it was him and he answered straight without even a pause:
Question 1: "Dulu Iedrus slalu minum air kotak apa?"
He answered: "STRAWBERRYYYYYYYY" and he sounded so cute saying it..haha..
Question 2: "1st time i kuar ngan Iedrus, kita lepak dalam kereta kat mana?"
He answered: "Bangsar"
Question 3: "1st time i kuar ngan Iedrus, dia pakai baju apa?"
He answered: "Hijau"
And i was pretty damn sure that it was him...Haha...
Well, he's still in sabah, going crazy not knowing when he's gonna come back..Haha..
And he's not feeling well, he's sick, and he misses me and he loves me...And all this, just made my day...Eventhough dad scolded me just now, i was justttttt happy in my head..hahahaha...
Wow, finally after waiting for 7months, finally...hmm...Now i just can't wait for him to come back, i just wanna hug him tight...
XOXO~
Today: Miracle Day
I woke up at 2.30pm today, and as usual, as i wake up, the 1st thing i do is to check my phone(hehehe)...So i saw that i got a message, i viewed message and i got shocked, and my eyes just open widely...I didnt expect it at all...I got a message from someone that i have just been waiting for 7months...
Yes, Iedrus text me..he said 'hai syg...' and i just didnt even believe that it was him, plus i just woke up see, i really thought i was dreaming..So i text his brother and i called cik Natelppa..
To cut the story short, Iedrus told me to call him if i dont believe it, and cik Natelppa gave me the courage to call him..And i asked him 3question to make sure it was him and he answered straight without even a pause:
Question 1: "Dulu Iedrus slalu minum air kotak apa?"
He answered: "STRAWBERRYYYYYYYY" and he sounded so cute saying it..haha..
Question 2: "1st time i kuar ngan Iedrus, kita lepak dalam kereta kat mana?"
He answered: "Bangsar"
Question 3: "1st time i kuar ngan Iedrus, dia pakai baju apa?"
He answered: "Hijau"
And i was pretty damn sure that it was him...Haha...
Well, he's still in sabah, going crazy not knowing when he's gonna come back..Haha..
And he's not feeling well, he's sick, and he misses me and he loves me...And all this, just made my day...Eventhough dad scolded me just now, i was justttttt happy in my head..hahahaha...
Wow, finally after waiting for 7months, finally...hmm...Now i just can't wait for him to come back, i just wanna hug him tight...
XOXO~
Monday, May 18, 2009
father's love...
IMAGINE...
true story
once,she were so close to her father..she look up to him more than anything..he's her goddess,he's her life,he's everything to her..till one day,this thing that humans are so greedy of, that i seem to hate so much,that is called money,spoilt their relationship..her father became more to him self..her father lost his job..her father is not young anymore,and her father has to supply food and shelter for her n her family..so,slowly,time passes by,she dont really bond with her father anymore,and that relationship that was once special,has turned sour,dull,not knowing each other anymore.......
then suddenly,her life seem to turn upside down, everything is just bad luck,all she gives is nothing but trouble...and one day,when her dad was just relaxing,she went to hug him...and he didnt hug her back...but he said 'aahhh, after you cry'...its like chasing her away...so she just left.
then she started questioning herself, does her father still loves her?does her father still see her as that special one?does her father hate her??all these question...and tears just began to flow,on her skin,on her cheeks,and it became cold as the aircond blows the air..and everything just doesnt matter anymore now...coz they hate her...
see how some of u are still lucky that u have a father, and that u have a father who loves u, a father who cares for u...when was the last time u say that magical word to ur father?that 3 word "i love u"??when was the last time u hugged ur father?
coz God is great..and u wont know when will be the last time u ever see your father...dont be afraid, dont be ashamed,instead, be proud, feel proud and tell ur father that u love him,and hug him...coz,he might be gone,anytime,anysecond now,maybe in the next one minute,the next hour,the next day,the next week?
think about it readers...
true story
once,she were so close to her father..she look up to him more than anything..he's her goddess,he's her life,he's everything to her..till one day,this thing that humans are so greedy of, that i seem to hate so much,that is called money,spoilt their relationship..her father became more to him self..her father lost his job..her father is not young anymore,and her father has to supply food and shelter for her n her family..so,slowly,time passes by,she dont really bond with her father anymore,and that relationship that was once special,has turned sour,dull,not knowing each other anymore.......
then suddenly,her life seem to turn upside down, everything is just bad luck,all she gives is nothing but trouble...and one day,when her dad was just relaxing,she went to hug him...and he didnt hug her back...but he said 'aahhh, after you cry'...its like chasing her away...so she just left.
then she started questioning herself, does her father still loves her?does her father still see her as that special one?does her father hate her??all these question...and tears just began to flow,on her skin,on her cheeks,and it became cold as the aircond blows the air..and everything just doesnt matter anymore now...coz they hate her...
see how some of u are still lucky that u have a father, and that u have a father who loves u, a father who cares for u...when was the last time u say that magical word to ur father?that 3 word "i love u"??when was the last time u hugged ur father?
coz God is great..and u wont know when will be the last time u ever see your father...dont be afraid, dont be ashamed,instead, be proud, feel proud and tell ur father that u love him,and hug him...coz,he might be gone,anytime,anysecond now,maybe in the next one minute,the next hour,the next day,the next week?
think about it readers...
Monday, May 11, 2009
mothers...
mother, mummy, mama, ibu, amma, ummi
mother's day..
how sure you are, when you say "happy mother's day" to your mother?
how sure you are, when you say "i love you mom" to her?
how sure are you, that you love her? that you really love her?
think about it...
what if, u had a mom who is just so hard to live with, to cope with, to breathe with...
what if, u had a mom who is just so controlling over your life, your sister's life, your brother's life?
what if, u had a mom who don't even care about u, your sister, your brother?
true story:
there's this mom, who wouldn't answer her phone, on mother's day, call from her own blood, her 25 year old daughter, who's living in another country-->why? because she didn't agree to go to that another country to get that man her mother wants her daughter to get married to+she wants too...due to work, money and time...
so, how many of you have a mother, who gives you the freedom to make your own decision, to make a choice of your life, understand bout your feelings, a mother who may be angry at you but still have the heart to answer your call on mother's day?
but yet, you complain about your mother?
yet, you say your mother is full of crap?
but that girl, still loves her mom, still go through it even if she can't take it anymore...
think about it...
mothers........
mother's day..
how sure you are, when you say "happy mother's day" to your mother?
how sure you are, when you say "i love you mom" to her?
how sure are you, that you love her? that you really love her?
think about it...
what if, u had a mom who is just so hard to live with, to cope with, to breathe with...
what if, u had a mom who is just so controlling over your life, your sister's life, your brother's life?
what if, u had a mom who don't even care about u, your sister, your brother?
true story:
there's this mom, who wouldn't answer her phone, on mother's day, call from her own blood, her 25 year old daughter, who's living in another country-->why? because she didn't agree to go to that another country to get that man her mother wants her daughter to get married to+she wants too...due to work, money and time...
so, how many of you have a mother, who gives you the freedom to make your own decision, to make a choice of your life, understand bout your feelings, a mother who may be angry at you but still have the heart to answer your call on mother's day?
but yet, you complain about your mother?
yet, you say your mother is full of crap?
but that girl, still loves her mom, still go through it even if she can't take it anymore...
think about it...
mothers........
Friday, May 08, 2009
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...
well,this song explains it all..it is so true..and this song represents me best!!well, for those of u interested in this song, you can find it, in youtube, cyndi lauper-girls just wanna have fun..hope u enjoy the song..its from the 80s...and yes,i am very oldschool..so what??huhu..just enjoy k coz, GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!!!
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have
That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls - they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have
That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls - they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
They want to have fun...
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have
That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls - they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have
That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls - they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
They want to have fun...
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
sentence of the post
1) kalau nak tikam, tikam habis-habisan
2) kalau nak sayang, sayang habis-habisan
3) kalau nak menipu, biarlah kamu jadi pro dulu
2) kalau nak sayang, sayang habis-habisan
3) kalau nak menipu, biarlah kamu jadi pro dulu
amazingly...
amazingly, as some of u know, i waited 7months for iedrus...
amazingly, since ive known him in my life, i dont easily love a person anymore...
amazingly, iedrus is the only one i want...
amazingly, i am so amazed with my self...
amazingly, he's that special guy that no one can beat...
amazingly, i feel so tied up to him...
amazingly, im feeling scared waiting for him...
amazingly, im really scared the shit outta my self, just waiting for him...
amazingly, amazing...
amazingly, since ive known him in my life, i dont easily love a person anymore...
amazingly, iedrus is the only one i want...
amazingly, i am so amazed with my self...
amazingly, he's that special guy that no one can beat...
amazingly, i feel so tied up to him...
amazingly, im feeling scared waiting for him...
amazingly, im really scared the shit outta my self, just waiting for him...
amazingly, amazing...
Friday, May 01, 2009
ikut suka hati
omg..its 1st may...its may already...mayyyyyyyyyy.....
iedrus is suppose to come back this month..i wonder what will happen...everything is gonna change...everything...
i miss him..but im actually damn scared..actually, im pretty damn scared of alot of shit that is happening to me right now..hmm..i wonder how will all this end..
i use to think that 'life is just a game,so i shud play it well' but i guess,i screwed up actually...hmm..
oh yeah, have u people ever had a fren who was so hard to talk to?dia ske ikut kepala dia je..dia buat2 takde hal, tapi kebenarannye,dia mmg ada hal..pukimak sial orang camtu..eeee...ko jangan satu hari,aku hilang sabar,sepak terajang je muka bangang ko tu!!ish ish...kalau la ko tahu semua ni...wkakakakakakaka....bodo!!
word of the post:
-ungrateful bitch, go screw ur self!!-
ohhhh,takut takut takut...iedrus nak balik...hmm...
sudahlah...
penat...
iedrus is suppose to come back this month..i wonder what will happen...everything is gonna change...everything...
i miss him..but im actually damn scared..actually, im pretty damn scared of alot of shit that is happening to me right now..hmm..i wonder how will all this end..
i use to think that 'life is just a game,so i shud play it well' but i guess,i screwed up actually...hmm..
oh yeah, have u people ever had a fren who was so hard to talk to?dia ske ikut kepala dia je..dia buat2 takde hal, tapi kebenarannye,dia mmg ada hal..pukimak sial orang camtu..eeee...ko jangan satu hari,aku hilang sabar,sepak terajang je muka bangang ko tu!!ish ish...kalau la ko tahu semua ni...wkakakakakakaka....bodo!!
word of the post:
-ungrateful bitch, go screw ur self!!-
ohhhh,takut takut takut...iedrus nak balik...hmm...
sudahlah...
penat...
the swearing post!!
tonight,im just here,sitting alone,using my sister's lappie,at my sister's place,well,i feel so much hatred in me..i feel like i hate someone close to me..for sooo many reasons...damn sick and tired of this person's stupid fake acting..u r one hell of a fucking good actor la ha?god damn it!!buat tambah dosa aku je la ko ni!!
neway, i feel that i dont deserve to be breathing in this world..ive been failing all my life..im a big time failure..i never score something..and now,even worse,im having this huge fucking dilemma, need to tell my parents that i failed,again,but this time,no otp or wat so ever shit..
by the way, to all u ppl who kononnye say that i shudnt give up studying,just carry on studying, and shit like that,or even saying u understand wat im going through but the fact that u actually dont,go fuck urself,also to u people who have thoughts like 'maybe nathra is lazy',well im not lazy,i have issues with the education shit coz i aint interested in studying,so again,go fuck ur fucking self u fucking people!!seriously!!coz if u really understand n feel what im going through,then u will know how fucking shitty i feel!!so far,only 2frens of mine understand,coz they went through it,nix and nathia...this problem im facing,is actually something really weird,its a weird disease...have u ever,have a task to be done,u wanna do it,but when u sit n concentrate to do it,u just loose it,u cant do it,and the next thing u think is 'i rather die' and u feel like the world is coming to an end...thats what i went through,therefore,i failed marker rendering fucking stupid class...
see,my problem here is that,in my mind,"i dont fucking knoe why i have to fucking study when i dont even wanna work after studying,and i wanna be a professional photographer n have my own studio,not some stupid advertising design person"...this is what in other people's mind's,"studying is important,having a career is important"...this is what my so called parents who wont try to be in my shoes understand,"studying is important,career is important,having a great job is good for your future,money is everything these days"....well one thing i wanna say,"WELL U FUCKING PEOPLE,TRY BEING IN MY FUCKING SHOE FOR ONE DAY,U WONT EVEN LAST!!"
im sorrie for all the swearing used in this post, to those of u who has no connection with me but so happen reads my blog...but those of u who knows who u fucking people are,remember,go fuck ur self!!and only i knoe who u r...opps,unless u terasa la..sape makan cili,terasa la kepedasannye kan...dont bother calling me and kononnye pretending that u care about me la ok,or just to ask me if u r the one im talking bout,those many many people,coz i will always pretend that im nice...
i wish, i was unborn..
i wish, i wasnt this useless,
i wish, i was that perfect person u wanted me to be...
mom dad, im sorrie to say,
u have a loser daughter who happens to be a big failure!!
and so happen,
she feels that she hates u,
but till today,
she wonders, that if she hates u,
y doesnt she have the guts to fucking leave u,
or to fucking die...
im sorrie i have to be this BIG DISAPPOINTMENT in ur lives...
wish my parents cud knoe how i truly feels...
and wish i have the guts to tell them everything...from A to Z...
-ended with tears-
Thursday, April 02, 2009
from cinderella story to life story...
ive just finished watching 'a Cinderella story'...
and i asked myself, when will my 'Cinderella' story happen?will it even happen,for me?im pretty sure, alot of u had it b4...hmmm...
well, im about to screw up my life..ive been slacking in college..im 100% sure that im gonna fail marker rendering class..and the others, im not sure..but, here i am, realizing, that this is the real me..im just a failure..a girl who has a bright oppurtunity in life, but chooses to be a failure dure to her lack of interest in studying..this is all because of her lack of having patience in life...
im scared at the same time..coz i keep questioning..all these questions in my mind..what's gonna happen in my future?
and, how will i tell my parents?that i am so interested in photography.and 5years ago, my sister asked me 'picture ur self in 5years time'...i just couldnt picture it..but now, i can picture my self as a professional photographer, of course with much learning, i know, i will be the best professional photographer some day...but, i have parents who thinks having a cert, just a paper, of a degree is so damn important..but they fail to see, that i am suffering, that i have no interest in studying anymore, and most importantly, i myself is dissapointed..because i cant be who they want me to be..but then, its always me sacrificing for them..when am i gonna sacrifice for my self?
bla bla bla..will update my blog soon..coz, tears are already in my eyes..i better stop writing now..
daaa...
and i asked myself, when will my 'Cinderella' story happen?will it even happen,for me?im pretty sure, alot of u had it b4...hmmm...
well, im about to screw up my life..ive been slacking in college..im 100% sure that im gonna fail marker rendering class..and the others, im not sure..but, here i am, realizing, that this is the real me..im just a failure..a girl who has a bright oppurtunity in life, but chooses to be a failure dure to her lack of interest in studying..this is all because of her lack of having patience in life...
im scared at the same time..coz i keep questioning..all these questions in my mind..what's gonna happen in my future?
and, how will i tell my parents?that i am so interested in photography.and 5years ago, my sister asked me 'picture ur self in 5years time'...i just couldnt picture it..but now, i can picture my self as a professional photographer, of course with much learning, i know, i will be the best professional photographer some day...but, i have parents who thinks having a cert, just a paper, of a degree is so damn important..but they fail to see, that i am suffering, that i have no interest in studying anymore, and most importantly, i myself is dissapointed..because i cant be who they want me to be..but then, its always me sacrificing for them..when am i gonna sacrifice for my self?
bla bla bla..will update my blog soon..coz, tears are already in my eyes..i better stop writing now..
daaa...
Sunday, March 22, 2009
newsflash bout ied 2!
well, an anonymous person asked me 'so what happened to ied?'
so here i am, answering...
its been 5months:
-9th March 2009: 5months since i last saw ied
-13th March 2009: 5months since i last heard from ied
well,does that answer u?
ok..i am still,waiting,but i was also being a bitch,i dated other guys too at the same time..
till yesterday,i realized that the reason to this behavior is because i am angry at ied, because i love him and miss him so much, but im mad coz im being abandon, and with all my stupid messed up shitty problems, i need him the most right now.
so anyway,
2more months to go, i will still wait..after all, ive waited for 5months, how can 2more months hurt me,rite?
hope this post answer your question. will update if got news..hehehe...
and,thanks for reading my blog!
so here i am, answering...
its been 5months:
-9th March 2009: 5months since i last saw ied
-13th March 2009: 5months since i last heard from ied
well,does that answer u?
ok..i am still,waiting,but i was also being a bitch,i dated other guys too at the same time..
till yesterday,i realized that the reason to this behavior is because i am angry at ied, because i love him and miss him so much, but im mad coz im being abandon, and with all my stupid messed up shitty problems, i need him the most right now.
so anyway,
2more months to go, i will still wait..after all, ive waited for 5months, how can 2more months hurt me,rite?
hope this post answer your question. will update if got news..hehehe...
and,thanks for reading my blog!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
accidentally fell...
accidentally...
I EFFING ACCIDENTALLY FELL...
that new friend of mine,
i accidentally fell...
and now,
IM HURT..
im so hurt inside..
my soul is suffering..
have you readers ever felt it before?that u have a new opposite site best friend,and u like that person at first,but u know that person has a person whom he/she love,and u know that u r not his type,and u know not even in a million years he will fall for u,and he's the perfect person,he's great,nice,awesome,and somehow,both of u share the very same interest in alot of things,THEN,suddenly,one stupid day,u realized that u have fallen in love with that person,but u cant tell that person how u feel about him/her,but then u effing hurt inside,so pain,ur soul is crying hard,u feel sad n depressed,and deja jealous.......
im going through that hard pain right now..
and trust me,
it hurts so bad..
the worst part is,
i am still hanging on as a bestfriend,
seeing him on the phone with his girl,
talking to me about his girl...
but deep inside me,
i prayed so hard,
wishing he will fall for me too....
I EFFING ACCIDENTALLY FELL...
that new friend of mine,
i accidentally fell...
and now,
IM HURT..
im so hurt inside..
my soul is suffering..
have you readers ever felt it before?that u have a new opposite site best friend,and u like that person at first,but u know that person has a person whom he/she love,and u know that u r not his type,and u know not even in a million years he will fall for u,and he's the perfect person,he's great,nice,awesome,and somehow,both of u share the very same interest in alot of things,THEN,suddenly,one stupid day,u realized that u have fallen in love with that person,but u cant tell that person how u feel about him/her,but then u effing hurt inside,so pain,ur soul is crying hard,u feel sad n depressed,and deja jealous.......
im going through that hard pain right now..
and trust me,
it hurts so bad..
the worst part is,
i am still hanging on as a bestfriend,
seeing him on the phone with his girl,
talking to me about his girl...
but deep inside me,
i prayed so hard,
wishing he will fall for me too....
Friday, March 13, 2009
my new friend...
i have a friend...
a new friend...
he's great,
he's perfect,
he's everything anyone cud ever dream of..
he's nice,
he's sweet,
he's just so amazing..
but...
im not his type,
i know he will never fall for me..
plus,
he's just so amazing,
our friendship is just so perfect,
i dont think i wanna screw it up...
but somehow,
i wanna be the one in his heart,
somehow,
i pretend to be fine when he talks about his girlfriend...
somehow,
i really enjoy hanging out with him,
somehow,
not talking to him in one day feels soooo wrong,
somehow,
i feel thankful i got to know him..
now i feel pissed,
coz his gf treats him badly...
coz he's just so great and perfect..
he shud be appreciated...
eventhough he's not my boyfriend,
but he sure treat me like he is my boyfriend...
he's like iedrus..
exact!!
i hope im not in love with him, yet...till whenever..
hurmppp....
a new friend...
he's great,
he's perfect,
he's everything anyone cud ever dream of..
he's nice,
he's sweet,
he's just so amazing..
but...
im not his type,
i know he will never fall for me..
plus,
he's just so amazing,
our friendship is just so perfect,
i dont think i wanna screw it up...
but somehow,
i wanna be the one in his heart,
somehow,
i pretend to be fine when he talks about his girlfriend...
somehow,
i really enjoy hanging out with him,
somehow,
not talking to him in one day feels soooo wrong,
somehow,
i feel thankful i got to know him..
now i feel pissed,
coz his gf treats him badly...
coz he's just so great and perfect..
he shud be appreciated...
eventhough he's not my boyfriend,
but he sure treat me like he is my boyfriend...
he's like iedrus..
exact!!
i hope im not in love with him, yet...till whenever..
hurmppp....
Sunday, February 15, 2009
scars on my hands,im suicidal again
she's pretty messed up now
no..
she's totally messed up now
she's regretting a lot of things now
she should be dead by now
she should be outta this world by now
no..
she's totally messed up now
she's regretting a lot of things now
she should be dead by now
she should be outta this world by now
but,
should she?
what about others who love her,
what about others whom she loved,
what about others..
should she?
what about others who love her,
what about others whom she loved,
what about others..
then she thought again,
its always about others,
and she's always being left out,
she's always the 2nd choice,
she's always pretending to be happy,
she's always being dumped by everyone,
it was never about her..
who is she?
is she me?
i wonder...
is she me?
i wonder...
then i got the answer,
it is me..
i always want everything to be about me..
but that never happened,did it?
but,
secretly,slowly,after being patient,
after wanting something so badly,
somehow,i get it..
secretly,slowly,after being patient,
after wanting something so badly,
somehow,i get it..
then i realize,
when i've set my eye on something,
i must get it..
yeah..that's me..
im a psycho,go-hatter,crazy,outta this world,wants everything but dunno what i want person..
im a bitch..
im a freak..
im a psycho,go-hatter,crazy,outta this world,wants everything but dunno what i want person..
im a bitch..
im a freak..
then i realize,
oh,
i hate myself,
that's why,
its 'scars on my hands,im suicidal again'..
my dlsr!!weee!!!
i got it!!!
im so happy!!
nikon D60kit...
RM1870...
mummy said its my early birthday present..which is in june..
awesome la!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
WOOT WOOOOTTTTT!!!
im so happy!!
nikon D60kit...
RM1870...
mummy said its my early birthday present..which is in june..
awesome la!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
WOOT WOOOOTTTTT!!!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
pern n nix..ingat lagu ni x?haha..
pern and nix...do u guys remember this song i modified for college?
apa salahku,
kau buatku begini,
dalam dilema diantara berjuta kerja..
usah biarkan diriku keseksaan,
melakukan kerja kerja yang membebankan..
tidak pernah ku duga ini semua terjadi,
oh-wo-oh-oh...semua ini..
telah banyak yang ku beri,
sejak 1st day lagi,
kesabaran telah pun dicabar..
hanyalahhh Tuhan saja,
bisa memahami semuanya,
kesabaran daku meneruskan..perjalanan....
apa salahku,
kau buatku begini,
dalam dilema diantara berjuta kerja..
usah biarkan diriku keseksaan,
melakukan kerja kerja yang membebankan..
tidak pernah ku duga ini semua terjadi,
oh-wo-oh-oh...semua ini..
telah banyak yang ku beri,
sejak 1st day lagi,
kesabaran telah pun dicabar..
hanyalahhh Tuhan saja,
bisa memahami semuanya,
kesabaran daku meneruskan..perjalanan....
cinta dalam hati
this song..has a million meanings for me..hmm...
mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
mengagumi tanpa di cintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
dalam hidupmu, dalam hidupmu
telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku
reff:
ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja
mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
mengagumi tanpa di cintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
dalam hidupmu, dalam hidupmu
telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku
reff:
ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja
kenape?
kepada,
-kamu-
salahkah aku suka padanya?
salahkah aku berterus terang?
bukannya aku nak suka pada dia..
tapi hati dah terpikat,nak buat macammane?
penantian itu sangat menyeksakan..
i just wanna be the one you share your love with..
it was fun laughing with you..
it was fun knowing you..
i wanna be that special one..
tapi,kalau susah sangat,
takperlah..
biarlah aku menjadi temannya sahaja..
biarlah aku mengenalimu setakat berkawan..
kerana,itupun dah cukup istimewa buatku..
dari,
-aku-
-kamu-
salahkah aku suka padanya?
salahkah aku berterus terang?
bukannya aku nak suka pada dia..
tapi hati dah terpikat,nak buat macammane?
penantian itu sangat menyeksakan..
i just wanna be the one you share your love with..
it was fun laughing with you..
it was fun knowing you..
i wanna be that special one..
tapi,kalau susah sangat,
takperlah..
biarlah aku menjadi temannya sahaja..
biarlah aku mengenalimu setakat berkawan..
kerana,itupun dah cukup istimewa buatku..
dari,
-aku-
Saturday, February 07, 2009
ZA...
it starts from KAMI and the star news paper..
i secretly adored him..
i secretly have feelings for him..
by accident..
i never knew i wud like u alot..
and i read ur poem for her..
i wish i cud be her in that poem..
i wish i cud be part of ur life..
i wish i cud share ur moments..
i wish i cud be the one who have great laughs with u..
i wish i cud be the one holding ur hands..
i wish i cud be the one u hug..
i wish i cud be the one u kiss..
and if u marry that person,
i wish i cud be that person..
i wish i cud be the 1st thing u see in the morning..
i wish i cud be the last thing u see before u sleep..
i wish i cud be the one who u give ur love to..
i never thought,
i wud like u,
to this extend...
i secretly adored him..
i secretly have feelings for him..
by accident..
i never knew i wud like u alot..
and i read ur poem for her..
i wish i cud be her in that poem..
i wish i cud be part of ur life..
i wish i cud share ur moments..
i wish i cud be the one who have great laughs with u..
i wish i cud be the one holding ur hands..
i wish i cud be the one u hug..
i wish i cud be the one u kiss..
and if u marry that person,
i wish i cud be that person..
i wish i cud be the 1st thing u see in the morning..
i wish i cud be the last thing u see before u sleep..
i wish i cud be the one who u give ur love to..
i never thought,
i wud like u,
to this extend...
i cant catch up...
have u guys ever....
felt so tired?
ur brains are dead?
ur body has decided to weaken up?
ur mind cant make decisions anymore?
u r at the edge if giving up,or maybe u have gave up?
its like,u r standing at the edge of a broken bridge,on top of a mountain,and below u is a never ending river,and just one more step,u will fall,from high above,into the river below,and that's when it all ends,all ur problems,ur tears,ur broken smiles,ur life,ur breath,ur relationships..everything..in just a split second..*poofff*..it all goes away..
that's me..
that's what i feel..
that's the simplest,best explanation i cud say about how i feel...
at this point of life,
i cant cope up with college..
this sem is so hard..
im just one body..
but they give me everything to do like i have 10 body..
its not easy..
i wonder,how can other's cope up..
then again,
everyone is different..
they r stronger,im weaker..
oh..i see...
well,yet,i still try..
i pray for the best..
i need the light from God..
to shine my path,
to lead me to the right way..
-the end-
felt so tired?
ur brains are dead?
ur body has decided to weaken up?
ur mind cant make decisions anymore?
u r at the edge if giving up,or maybe u have gave up?
its like,u r standing at the edge of a broken bridge,on top of a mountain,and below u is a never ending river,and just one more step,u will fall,from high above,into the river below,and that's when it all ends,all ur problems,ur tears,ur broken smiles,ur life,ur breath,ur relationships..everything..in just a split second..*poofff*..it all goes away..
that's me..
that's what i feel..
that's the simplest,best explanation i cud say about how i feel...
at this point of life,
i cant cope up with college..
this sem is so hard..
im just one body..
but they give me everything to do like i have 10 body..
its not easy..
i wonder,how can other's cope up..
then again,
everyone is different..
they r stronger,im weaker..
oh..i see...
well,yet,i still try..
i pray for the best..
i need the light from God..
to shine my path,
to lead me to the right way..
-the end-
DEJA-JEALOUS!!
jealousy...
taking over my body..
taking over my mind..
today,i went for my old highschool buddy's wedding..
she's my age..23..she got married today..im so happy for her..
and few weeks ago,my other highschool buddy got engaged..good for her too..
and me..
my frens asked me..'ko bila lak?'
all i said was,'nak ada bf pun takleh lagi,ni lak nak kawen/tunang'
its true..
im 23years old..
but..
my parents dont let me be in a relationship..
and,its also hard for me to have a guy friend..
hmmm....
oh,im tired of being nathra..
taking over my body..
taking over my mind..
today,i went for my old highschool buddy's wedding..
she's my age..23..she got married today..im so happy for her..
and few weeks ago,my other highschool buddy got engaged..good for her too..
and me..
my frens asked me..'ko bila lak?'
all i said was,'nak ada bf pun takleh lagi,ni lak nak kawen/tunang'
its true..
im 23years old..
but..
my parents dont let me be in a relationship..
and,its also hard for me to have a guy friend..
hmmm....
oh,im tired of being nathra..
Friday, February 06, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
OMG!!I EFFING LOVE U,TASHA!!!
i told tash,
that i sanggup jadi her kuli batak,
just for a ticket to Sunburst...
tash said,
ooo dah kluar dah yeah? okok nnt i kirim duit kang i masukkan..
and also...
takde acct kau. nnt i suruh dauz belikan... 143 murah gle..
wowww!!!!
seriously..tash's gonna belanja me ticket to sunburst!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
aha aha...
woot woootttt!!!
that i sanggup jadi her kuli batak,
just for a ticket to Sunburst...
tash said,
ooo dah kluar dah yeah? okok nnt i kirim duit kang i masukkan..
and also...
takde acct kau. nnt i suruh dauz belikan... 143 murah gle..
wowww!!!!
seriously..tash's gonna belanja me ticket to sunburst!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
aha aha...
woot woootttt!!!
to those who reads my blog!!!u r tagged!!
1. Name one person who make you laugh last night?
-NO FUCKING ONE...but animals,yes...
2.What were you doing at 0800?
-APPARENTLY,I WAS STILL IN LALA LAND..
3.What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
-DOING STUNTS WITH MY CATS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE..
4.What happened to you in 2006?
-WORKED IN TOPSHOP SINCE JAN TO JUN..THEN HAD THE TIME OF MY FUCKING LIFE FOR A MONTH(no parents for a month),WENT TO SINGAPORE WITH MY OWN FUCKING HARDWORK MONEY..THEN TASHA CAME BACK!THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME..OUH,I ALSO MET ZUL IN JULY..SO..YEAH..HMM...
5.What was the last thing you said out loud?
- "DAD,CLOSE THE CHICKEN COOP"
6.How many beverages did you have today?
-2GLASSES OF PLAIN WATER
7.What color is your hairbrush?
-PURPLE(yucks!)
8.Was was the last thing you paid for?
-PALLMALL MENTHOLS
9.Where were you last night?
-HOME..(im home all the time,major loser la..)
10. What color is your front door?
-BROWN
11.Where do you keep your change?
-WALLET OR MY CAR'S COIN BOX(for tolls)
12.What's the weather like today?
-I DONT KNOW..IM HIGH ON DRUGS..CANT FEEL WHAT THE WEATHER IS LIKE..
13.What's the best ice-cream flavor?
-IM NOT A BIG FAN OF ICECREAM..BUT,MCD HAS THE BEST STRAWBERRY SUNDAE SO FAR..
14.What excites you?
-MEETING PERN N NIX JUST TO TALK CRAP N LAUGH..SPYING ON DLGUY(b4 i dated him)..DOING THINGS MY PARENTS DONT LIKE ME TO DO..HURTING MY SELF BY PUNCHING/CUTTING MYSELF..
15.Do you want to cut your hair?
-NO..I WANT IT TO BE LONG..MAYBE LIKE PERN'S...I HAD SHORT HAIR TOOOOOO MANY TIMES BEFORE..
16. Are you over the age of 25?
-IM ONLY 23..
17.Do you talk a lot?
-APPARENTLY,I HAVE A MOLE BELOW MY LIPS..YEAH,I DO TALK ALOT!BUT ONLY WHEN IM OUTTA THE HOUSE(away from parents)
18.Do you watch the O.C?
-NO..TOO KIDDISH FOR ME I THINK..
19.Do you know anyone named steven?
-OMG OMG..YES..THE LECTURER IN TOA...HMMM...
20.Do you make up your own words?
-"chillax"??"mengong"??i dunno lah..im too high on drugs to be thinking right...
21. Are you a jealous person?
-VERY MUCH I THINK,BUT I DONT REALIZE IT??!!??HEHEHE..
22.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
-A????HMMM...AHMED??HAHAHA...
23.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
-K???I HATE HUMANS..NOT MUCH FRIENDS LA..
24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
-KHAIRUL(his name dont start with the letter K ok),(he's a guy whom ive been avoiding)
25.What does the last text message you received say?
- "GO LA MANDI,WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?"and something something else..too long..i 4got..and i deleted..
26. Do you chew on you straw?
-SOMETIMES..IF IT HAPPENS,MEANING NATHRA IS FEELING BORED ALREADY...
27.Do you have curly hair?
-HMM..YES..CURLY AND WAVY..ALMOST LIKE A TSUNAMI!!URGHH!!
28. Where's the next place you're going to?
-I DUNNO..I HAVENT SHOWER..MY HEAD IS TOO HIGH ON DRUGS(need to crash my bed),WANNA DO ASSIGNMENT BUT ILLUSTRATOR IS FUCKED(need pern's help tomoro),WANNA FINISH WATCHING ENTOURAGE SEASON4!!!
29.Who's the rudest person in your life?
- ME,MYSELF AND I??HAHAHA...I DUNNO..OH YEAH..THERE IS 2PEOPLE I VERY MUCH HATE,DOES THOSE COUNT?ITS LUTH AND FAREZ!HOPE THEY DIE IN THE WORST AND MOST TORTURING WAY!
30.What was the last thing you ate?
-RICE N CRAB..MOM COOKED..
31.Will you get married in the future?
- I DUNNO..WANT TO..WITH IED..BUT..IF IED DUMPS ME,I DONT KNOE THEN,I MIGHT CLOSE MY HEART FOREVER I THINK..BUT ANYWAY,ITS ALL IN GOD'S HANDS...
32. What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
-MARLEY AND ME..DAMN SAD WEH..I CRIED...HMMM...ALSO,SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE..HMM..
33.Is there anyone you like right now?
-LIKE?YES..ZAHIRIL ADZIM..I LIKE HIM SO MUCH!(wish to date him,but who the heck am i,rite?)..BUT IF U SAY LOVE...WELL..DEFINATELY MOHD IEDRUS...hehehe...
34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
-TODAY...AT ABOUT 4...AFTER I ATE LUNCH..
35. Are you currently depressed?
-I GUESS SO..LOST,DEFINATELY..DEPRESSED?HMM..I THINK YES,COZ I NEED MORE CIGGIES ALL THE TIME!!!
36.Did you cry today?
-NOPE..
37.Why did you answer and post this?
-BECAUSE PERN TAGGED ME..and indirectly she did dare me with her sentence "like they are going to do la!dont think so,anyway..."I CANT TAKE THREATS/DARE!!HUHU..
38. Tag 1,2,3,4 or 5 people who would do this survey.
WELL..I DONT KNOW MUCH PEOPLE..BUT,CAN I JUST SAY,PEOPLE WHO READS MY BLOG,U R TAGGED!!OH I KNOW U KNOW ITS U!!!HAHAHA...
-christina
-zahiril adzim
-shafiq
-fazli razali
note:*high on drugs here mean,im on medication,im sick...
-NO FUCKING ONE...but animals,yes...
2.What were you doing at 0800?
-APPARENTLY,I WAS STILL IN LALA LAND..
3.What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
-DOING STUNTS WITH MY CATS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE..
4.What happened to you in 2006?
-WORKED IN TOPSHOP SINCE JAN TO JUN..THEN HAD THE TIME OF MY FUCKING LIFE FOR A MONTH(no parents for a month),WENT TO SINGAPORE WITH MY OWN FUCKING HARDWORK MONEY..THEN TASHA CAME BACK!THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME..OUH,I ALSO MET ZUL IN JULY..SO..YEAH..HMM...
5.What was the last thing you said out loud?
- "DAD,CLOSE THE CHICKEN COOP"
6.How many beverages did you have today?
-2GLASSES OF PLAIN WATER
7.What color is your hairbrush?
-PURPLE(yucks!)
8.Was was the last thing you paid for?
-PALLMALL MENTHOLS
9.Where were you last night?
-HOME..(im home all the time,major loser la..)
10. What color is your front door?
-BROWN
11.Where do you keep your change?
-WALLET OR MY CAR'S COIN BOX(for tolls)
12.What's the weather like today?
-I DONT KNOW..IM HIGH ON DRUGS..CANT FEEL WHAT THE WEATHER IS LIKE..
13.What's the best ice-cream flavor?
-IM NOT A BIG FAN OF ICECREAM..BUT,MCD HAS THE BEST STRAWBERRY SUNDAE SO FAR..
14.What excites you?
-MEETING PERN N NIX JUST TO TALK CRAP N LAUGH..SPYING ON DLGUY(b4 i dated him)..DOING THINGS MY PARENTS DONT LIKE ME TO DO..HURTING MY SELF BY PUNCHING/CUTTING MYSELF..
15.Do you want to cut your hair?
-NO..I WANT IT TO BE LONG..MAYBE LIKE PERN'S...I HAD SHORT HAIR TOOOOOO MANY TIMES BEFORE..
16. Are you over the age of 25?
-IM ONLY 23..
17.Do you talk a lot?
-APPARENTLY,I HAVE A MOLE BELOW MY LIPS..YEAH,I DO TALK ALOT!BUT ONLY WHEN IM OUTTA THE HOUSE(away from parents)
18.Do you watch the O.C?
-NO..TOO KIDDISH FOR ME I THINK..
19.Do you know anyone named steven?
-OMG OMG..YES..THE LECTURER IN TOA...HMMM...
20.Do you make up your own words?
-"chillax"??"mengong"??i dunno lah..im too high on drugs to be thinking right...
21. Are you a jealous person?
-VERY MUCH I THINK,BUT I DONT REALIZE IT??!!??HEHEHE..
22.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
-A????HMMM...AHMED??HAHAHA...
23.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
-K???I HATE HUMANS..NOT MUCH FRIENDS LA..
24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
-KHAIRUL(his name dont start with the letter K ok),(he's a guy whom ive been avoiding)
25.What does the last text message you received say?
- "GO LA MANDI,WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?"and something something else..too long..i 4got..and i deleted..
26. Do you chew on you straw?
-SOMETIMES..IF IT HAPPENS,MEANING NATHRA IS FEELING BORED ALREADY...
27.Do you have curly hair?
-HMM..YES..CURLY AND WAVY..ALMOST LIKE A TSUNAMI!!URGHH!!
28. Where's the next place you're going to?
-I DUNNO..I HAVENT SHOWER..MY HEAD IS TOO HIGH ON DRUGS(need to crash my bed),WANNA DO ASSIGNMENT BUT ILLUSTRATOR IS FUCKED(need pern's help tomoro),WANNA FINISH WATCHING ENTOURAGE SEASON4!!!
29.Who's the rudest person in your life?
- ME,MYSELF AND I??HAHAHA...I DUNNO..OH YEAH..THERE IS 2PEOPLE I VERY MUCH HATE,DOES THOSE COUNT?ITS LUTH AND FAREZ!HOPE THEY DIE IN THE WORST AND MOST TORTURING WAY!
30.What was the last thing you ate?
-RICE N CRAB..MOM COOKED..
31.Will you get married in the future?
- I DUNNO..WANT TO..WITH IED..BUT..IF IED DUMPS ME,I DONT KNOE THEN,I MIGHT CLOSE MY HEART FOREVER I THINK..BUT ANYWAY,ITS ALL IN GOD'S HANDS...
32. What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
-MARLEY AND ME..DAMN SAD WEH..I CRIED...HMMM...ALSO,SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE..HMM..
33.Is there anyone you like right now?
-LIKE?YES..ZAHIRIL ADZIM..I LIKE HIM SO MUCH!(wish to date him,but who the heck am i,rite?)..BUT IF U SAY LOVE...WELL..DEFINATELY MOHD IEDRUS...hehehe...
34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
-TODAY...AT ABOUT 4...AFTER I ATE LUNCH..
35. Are you currently depressed?
-I GUESS SO..LOST,DEFINATELY..DEPRESSED?HMM..I THINK YES,COZ I NEED MORE CIGGIES ALL THE TIME!!!
36.Did you cry today?
-NOPE..
37.Why did you answer and post this?
-BECAUSE PERN TAGGED ME..and indirectly she did dare me with her sentence "like they are going to do la!dont think so,anyway..."I CANT TAKE THREATS/DARE!!HUHU..
38. Tag 1,2,3,4 or 5 people who would do this survey.
WELL..I DONT KNOW MUCH PEOPLE..BUT,CAN I JUST SAY,PEOPLE WHO READS MY BLOG,U R TAGGED!!OH I KNOW U KNOW ITS U!!!HAHAHA...
-christina
-zahiril adzim
-shafiq
-fazli razali
note:*high on drugs here mean,im on medication,im sick...
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