Crapping 101 #67 ~ kebenaran...

Kebenaran.

Aku merindui waktu2 aku bergayut tepon dgn org tu, borak perkara2 yang mcm tak logik tp sounded logic at that time.

Aku merindui waktu2 risau dan asyik tengok tepon sbb risau ada call or msg dari orang tu.

Aku merindui waktu2 tak sabar nak weekend sebab nak jumpa orang tu.

Aku rindu.

Now I just feel old. So old like im 60. Semua tu dah tiada.

Aku rasa diri tidak lagi berguna.

Kebenaran, kadang2 terpaksa dituliskan jua. Kadang2 pahit untuk menerima. Pahit lagi yang merasa.

Apa aku merepek aku pun tak tau.

Moody. Emo.

Selamat tinggal. Tinggalkan saja semuanya.

Lepas. Let it go.
Kbai.

Crapping 101 #66 - The latest update "love, death, life"

Hello there.

It's 2016 now. It's June 5th, today. Let me tell you what is up with me.

Love.
I have been in love since 8 May 2014. Everytime, it feels like falling in love all over again. My family has all met him. Mom likes him and gave me her green light. But, jodoh is Allah's secret. We both love each other, but there are still room for improvement for the both of us, we are still learning to understand each other more :)

Death.
My father, has returned to Allah on April 15, 2015. Yes, of course I am sad. Of course I am so down and still sad. Till today, I still cry. He is the only man I ever look up to, I respect, I love, I share my problems with, I ask money from when im having difficulties, I jump on even if Im big as an elephant, I joke with, I talk about life n dreams with. He would listen no matter what. I miss him so much. I really do.

Life.
Its still the same. Despite shifting work to another company, I havent achieved any big achievements as of yet. I'll be turning 30 in weeks. I am now a Senior Graphic Designer too. I have 17cats, 4tortoises, 2birds and lots of koi's as of today. What else do I want to update? Hmm... it's fasting month starting tomorrow. Im on the bed ready to sleep now. Will update more soon aite.

Till then.

U kno u love me,
-xoxo-

Crapping 101 #65 - 2 October 2014 Updates.... :P

Well hello kenello readers.

It's been almost a year now yea, since I last updated my blog. Oh well, the only time I use the computer is at office. HaHa. Phone is for facebook. So, havent been in blogspot for too long, though I miss blabbering here. HeeHeeHee.

Occay, let's hear out my updates.

1) Not wearing headscarf anymore, dont pray anymore, been wearing short skirts! like wtf. lol
2) Have a boyfie, long hair, haha, been dating him since May 2014, still new in the relationship. He's amazingly nice, cheeky, and like to purposely provoke my anger and laugh about it. LOL.
3) Depression hasnt been ok though.
4) Recently having thoughts about not being so sexy and showing legs off.

Can I continue this another day. Currently my mind is occupied with something so disturbing that I just can't think anymore.

u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-

Crapping 101 #64 - Please, you're killing me softly...

Darn all these nonsense.

It just doesnt makes sense. Currently, I'm loosing my mind with the decisions made by the government.

I think, if I were to loose my mind for real and commit suicide, I'd do it in front of his office, and post a letter to him stating that, 'I did it because you made me do it.'

Haih... Crazy oh crazy, I think you are crazy.


u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-

Crapping 101 #63 - It's over

Hello dear readers,

Apparently, love is full of bullocks.

Yes, after being silent for 2 weeks, and him not saying a single thing or even asking if I was alright, I confronted him.

So, bla bla bla, cut the story short, we broke up.

Sad? Nah... It's time to explore the deep sea bebeh!! LOL

u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-

Crapping 101 #62 - What a weird story...

Sometimes I wonder, is it hard to tell the world that you're taken? Rather than leading them into thinking that you're single and totally date-able? And I don't get it... How is it possible that you can love a person, but treat them like they don't mean anything to you...

How weird...

Once there was a question... "If I change, will you still love and accept me?' The answer was 'yes, till my last breath.'

Then bit by bit, the questioner changed, changed and changed till the answerer hardly know the questioner, but yet, holding on to what God has given to the answerer, the answerer still loved the questioner. Yet, deep in the answerer's heart, answerer just wanted to be appreciated, to be loved, to be acknowledge, and that the questioner would feel proud to be seen walking in public with the answerer... But the questioner never made any sign or statement that the questioner would marry the answerer one day...

Yet, the answerer could only pray to God and wait... As times tick away, each day seems rather painful as the questioner never had thoughts of introducing answerer to questioner's parents. That meant a huge thing - it means questioner is not interested in her.

But odd, that questioner still have love for answerer in his eyes when they met. But most of the time, cold, cold was all answerer felt from questioner. Yet, once upon a time ago, the questioner was the warmth of answerer's heart, questioner was the knight in all answerer's fairytale.

Now, there might be some trouble, as the answerer's mother has been talking about the questioner alot. The mother likes the questioner alot, yet the questioner might not know of, that the mother has been secretly praying that the answerer would end up being married to the questioner.

Haih... Pitiful story... but weird at the same time...LOL

Aren't I a pretty awesome story teller? Jeng Jeng Jeng...

u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-

Crapping 101 #61 - What the man I love has done to me

Yes. Love.

I remember back then when I use to hate love, cursed it, never wanted to love ever again. But that all changed when one day, God answered my prayer.

Yeah, so I found love then. Been loving him for 360 days now, 5 days more to being 1 year together. My goal is to be with him till death do us apart. Why? Because he can guide me to the road of Allah. Yes. I never had thoughts I would be what I am today.

I am with hijab, trying to pray 5 times a day, installed an apps of how to read jawi, been thinking of going for reciting the Quran classes, have feelings of going to pray at the mosque, and I went for terawih the other day.

Most of my friends who knew in and out about me, couldn't believe their eyes seeing me with hijab. What more those who knows me but not close, and those who just know my face. And I have received support from some of them, compliments, and so on. I told Miss U (my bestie) that if everyone actually kept saying what they say, it might actually come true. LOL. Yes, I'm pretty sure you are wondering what they said - pretty. HaHaHa.

Anyways, I am blessed, that Allah has sent this man, to me, to guide me. I hope too that Allah has planned my whole life with him ahead of us. And most of all, I am blessed that Allah has never given up on me.

I hope He will forgive my sins and hating him before :(

u kno u love me,
-x.o.x.o.-

Quote101 #1

"Sometime I wish I could know what he is thinking about so I could do better..."